diary of a doll

After years of going unnoticed, my deep dark secret has recently been publicly exposed.
Yes, it's true. I am 24 years old and I have never owned flip-flops. I can hear the gasps and cries from all of you screaming. 'THE HORROR'! I know, I know.

I wish I could give you a good excuse about how I was the victim of some horrible flip-flop stealing crime that took me years of therapy to recover from, or you know, something like that...but the truth is I've just never had any.

So it started while joining friends from school at the beach several days in a row. The first day I got off the hook as it was late and I had to walk a ways to get there so my ballerina flats were passed off as somewhat acceptable. But the next day when I showed up in mini-heeled sandles, I was not as lucky.

To me, my 'mini-heels' are the equivalent of flip-flops to everyone else, but to everyone else you'd think I just walked up in 7" knee-high hooker boots. It's as if people were actually insulted at my choice of footwear.

I think it probably had to do with the fact that I sunk into the sand with every step I took and flipped sand up everywhere as I drunkenly stumbled in the sand. Everyone laughed at my inability to get anywhere without looking ridiculous, but the stubborness in me refused to take them off.

It turned quickly from a joke to pure pity. I don't know if they all thought that I was too poor to buy myself $3 flip-flops (which doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering the shoes I showed up in were clearly a little more expensive), or if my mother banned my from wearing flip flops, or maybe I had a traumatizing flip flop incident as a child, but everyone yelled at me to get some asap and said that if I didn't they would.



I ignored them all and went back to the car where I held my heels close to my cheek and promised them that they were amazing shoes and not to listen to anything those crazy people said, assuring them that I would never leave them for some cheap brightly coloured can-barely-even-be-called shoes.

The next week in class as we went around doing 'check-in' Amer announced that she had a special gift that she would like to present to me. I think I was the only one in more shock than the teacher when she pulled out a pair of polka dot flip flops from her bag!

So you can all sleep at night knowing that I now own, and have actually worn, a pair of flip flops!

I promise to wear them next time I come to the beach, just don't tell my other shoes! :)

xox

As much as I appreciate not having completely disastrous dates, as a blogger, it would really help to spruce up the story a bit. Unfortunately, my date last night did not leave me running for the door, actually, if anything he led me to the door before I even wanted to go home. Which I guess shows that it wasn't a wonderfully magical, birds singing kind of date either.

I am supposed to be involved in this whole 'pay it forward' thing and instead of being the giver, I just got Big Gived.

 So I was having a mellow, kind of down day today where I did absolutely nothing and felt bad about it. I was frustrated and overall just feeling low. I decided that to feel better I would drive down to the Stanley park and sit at the beach and people watch. I got all ready, and just as I was about to leave, realized that my mom had taken the car so basically that idea was out of the question. I hummed and hawed and basically said screw it, I'm just going to rollerblade down the street and sit at the ocean.

I put on my music and picked a bench out of the way where I sat and wrote my frustrations in my journal. After about an hour, when the sun had set and most of the people had gone home, the French guitarist who plays music on the dock, walked by and started talking to me (or so I assumed, as I had my ipod in and just saw his lips moving). As I removed my earplugs and said pardon me, he asked if I had heard him playing. I felt like a prize fool as I was clearly blocking out his music to listen to my own. But it was not my intention, honest! I told him I have heard him play many times as I live nearby.

He inquired about my journal and asked if he could see it. He explained that he had taken graphology and if I'd like, he could analyze my handwriting. I of course insisted he do so! He said that in all of his studies he had never seen or heard of anyone who wrote with the book on a 90 degree angle (which I have gotten weird looks and remarks for all my life, not to mention scolded at school). He didn't know what to make of that but as far as my actual handwriting which he complimented me on, he said that it was extremely neat and organized. He said that it shows that I am the type who is happy to go with the wind but in doing so, needs to have reference points that guide me in some sort of general direction in life. I found this all very interesting.

He dropped his things and sat down beside me for the next hour while he talked to me about quantum physics and his 'home' in the woods where he watches his big screen tv that is the sky, and how I need to strive to be a 'wizard' like neo in the matrix etc etc. He said he found me very intriguing. Apparently he could see that I have a very pure soul and that no matter what horrible things that I see in this horrible world, I manage to keep that purity and raise my soul above it. He made me promise not to lose this quality, even up until my last breath of life. I have to admit he was a fascinating man to talk to (and not just because he was telling me how wonderful he seemed to think I was) and although I didn't know what he was talking about half the time, he did seem to be quite knowledgeable and insightful. It was a kind of spiritual cleanse so to speak. He gave me some really good words of wisdom and even if it all meant nothing, it was nice just to talk to a complete stranger and learn about his truly fascinating life.




At the end of our spiritual conversational journey, he reached into his dirty old bag and said that he wanted to give me something. I refused persistently, to which he pointed out that the fact that I was so uncomfortable receiving a gift meant that I don't receive enough of them (hint hint to all of you reading this ;) ). He gave me two of his CD's and explained the stories behind both of them. One was very close to his heart (he said he gives all the tourists the "bubble bath CD" which is the other one). The good one, named "with the eyes of the heart" in Russian, is a collection of songs that he recorded on a 2 month Peace Corps travel to Serbia and Russia. I really did feel awful about accepting it but he explained that this was not a gift from him to me but that he fully expected that I share it and pass it on as a type of 'pay it forward'. I wanted to explain that I am supposed to be paying it forward to him but it didn't seem appropriate.

If you are at all interested in this man, check out his website http://www.tobybeaulieu.com

Tight and Bright Girls weekend was absolutely crazy and soooo much fun! Here I am still recovering from the lack of sleep and overdose of snack food, among other things.

I hate to say that I've become one of those people who becomes entrenched in school but when it comes to keeping up with my blog it seems to be that way. But don't worry, I've managed to neglect it enough to continue having at least a little bit of a life.

I climbed to the top of a mountain without dying. It was a rainy day so the whole hike was muddy. The thought had gone through my head that at least with the rain no one could tell I was crying with pain, but when I got to the top and looked in a mirror, apparently that didn't work because I had mascara lines running down my entire face.

I went out with some girls from nursing class and danced the night away. We got approached by one guy in particular who's idea of hitting on us was asking our opinion as to whether one should floss before or after brushing their teeth. We all decided on after, but he disagreed. He then went on to analyze our smiles, apparently mine is not as friendly or inviting as Brittany's but he could tell that I am 'the dominator' of our relationship. He wasn't even a dentist.
Is this the new pick up line?


The next night, I went crazy attempting to write a paper and when I finally gave up at about 930pm, I threw on some clothes, and went to the beach where a few friends had been hanging out. They said that they texted me because they knew out of anyone I was the only one random enough to actually come out. I don't know why I have this persona of being such a random person. And I haven't decided if this is good or bad.


I've decided that sitting next to a campfire on the beach with friends til early morning is one of my favorite things. I even enjoyed the random hippy drifters that would join our circle. At one point I was sure we were about to burst into spontaneous kumbayya. Actually, I was a little disappointed that we didn't. Instead the guy just destroyed our fire, jumped up and ran straight into the ocean.


I also learned that apparently 2nd beach is not 3rd beach. 

On Tuesday, the day I had planned to go home from school and write my essay, I got a text from Alicia saying that she won tickets to a concert at the commodore and invited me to be her date.

I asked if that required me to put out.

She said no.

It has really been paying off for me lately to have a friend who is some kind of Twitter Celebrity! She seems to get quite a bit of free stuff and somehow I am lucky enough to reap the benefits. The tickets were for "The Heavy" with The Slew and Kid Koala. I admit that I had never heard of any of them, but The Heavy were really good! It's great hang out music, and I love concerts where the entire audience is full-out dancing!


And today is C ey N ey D ey Day! Unfortunately I don't own much red but I promise to eat some maple syrup and ride a mountie. I mean, a moose... I am Canadian! :)
And in true Canadian style, it's cold and rainy outside. But I'm still going to head downtown to join in the festivities and watch a friend in the parade. Oh and fireworks!


And tomorrow I am going to Whistler for Kadie's birthday. 16 girls in a huge cabin for the long weekend, and the theme is TIGHT AND BRIGHT. I've already given a friend the heads up that they may be receiving my "one call". YEEOOW!