My photo
Nice to e-meet you! That's internet for Hello. And that's also about as far as I got in planning what to say in this thing...but as a lover of spontaneity and the inability to edit my own words because that would mean actually having an awareness as to the nothingingness that I am about to ramble on about for far too long...I'm just going to go ahead and keep typing. Apparently...

brushing off the dust

The first time I went to England to be an aupair, I knew that it was the sign of something big, but I never imagined back then that I would soon return, and under completely different circumstances.

Of course I went to England the first time with bright eyes and high hopes of falling helplessly into a romantic fairy tale of being swept off my feet by an English gentleman, but I can't say I was surprised when it didn't happen at the end of it. To be honest, chasing after four toddlers all day every day didn't leave much time for being swept off my feet, though I did get my share of fairy tales. 

Now that I am living out all of those dreams that I never thought could actually happen, it feels quite differently than I pictured it. Dreaming about being whisked away to another country by a handsome brit versus actually being here and planning a life for myself here, although still exciting, is very different. 

Now on my third trip to England, I can say that each journey here has been completely unlike the last. First as a innocent young girl, setting out on her own for the first time, living with complete strangers and caring for children.

Second time, taking the daring step towards meeting Andy for the first time and everything that came with that.

And now, being engaged, planning our wedding, having a home here, and trying my best to find my bearings. 

I can't say that things are perfect, and I equally couldn't say that things aren't going as well as I hoped, things are just different. I am happy here, and I love Andy more than ever, but I think it's more the reality that is sinking in more than anything. The realization that this isn't a holiday, that this is how things are now. This is the beginning of how the rest of my life will be. This is my new home; where I will go to work everyday, where I will raise my children, and where I will eventually grow old. 

I can honestly say that I never really saw myself doing those things in Vancouver either, I always had this instinct that I'd end up somewhere else, but being here doesn't make it any easier to picture. 

I miss my friends, and I miss my family, but I am still loving being with Andy more than anything, and genuinely loving what it means to have a real life with him. 

Every day I try more and more to figure out my place here, where I belong and so forth, and I think that I'm heading in the right direction towards putting down roots, but I've still got a ways to go. And a large part of me is excited to take those steps into the unknown. 

I have my good days and bad days, but through it all, I know I can count on Andy for support, and in reminding me what this is all for. 

Even with the sacrifices, I have so much to gain from being here, and have already had so many new and amazing experiences, all of which are quickly becoming part of my new English life.
Now put on the kettle!


putting our feet in the sand

The date is set. The invitations have been mailed. And most importantly, the dress has been purchased!
Things are finally coming together!

I always saw myself as quite a 'girly girl' in many aspects, but when it came to planning that fairy tale wedding, I was completely clueless. I always had ideas here and there of what I thought I wanted, but nothing serious enough to build a whole wedding off of.

I did my best to take it all on, but everything seemed a bit overwhelming and not as fun as I had hoped planning that dream day should be. It came to a point where I had kind of thrown in the towel and tried convincing Andy to elope...
He didn't go for it.

But in the end, we decided to go for a destination wedding, and couldn't be more excited!

So Mexico, here we come!

My Smile Won't Fade

For the last two weeks, I have been spending every last second with Andy. He came over from England for a short, but much anticipated visit. I had been missing him so much over our time apart, and seeing him again just reassured me all over again of how perfect he is and how much I want to be with him, no matter what.

From the second he walked through the gate at the airport, I ran over to jump on him with a smile not capable of fitting my face. From that second, that smile has remained in place, and still remains in my heart.

I had never given up on being a hopeless romantic, but I don't think that I ever completely believed in it to it's fullest capacity. Until Andy.

We made the most of our short time together, and I showed him all of the best parts of Vancouver, as it was his first (but surely not last) time here. It had been very busy, trying to fit in all of the sightseeing, with meeting friends and family, and still trying to manage alone time. It was really nice when we left for Ucluelet, Vancouver Island, with my mom, sister, and brother for the weekend. It was a mini getaway from all the rush, and the most magically beautiful place.

We had the most amazing time, and stayed in the fanciest resort I had ever seen. We were right on the ocean, and I couldn't have imagined a more romantic place to escape to.

The first day I was a bit haggard from the 5 hour drive + ferry ride, and despite Andy's 'gentle suggestion' that I make myself look presentable for our dinner out that evening, I was too tired to make any effort, which luckily didn't ruin things too badly.

The next morning, we had a lovely little breakfast together on our private patio, showered under the waterfall double spa shower, and headed out on a walk through the rainforest. It was a stunning walk along cliffs following the ocean, and through the tree's. We walked all the way along, until we came to the most beautiful viewpoint, up above and looking out onto the ocean, overlooking a view that was breathtaking. Andy had told me that he remembered seeing online that there was a geocache in that area, and sent me around the corner to go looking for it. Little did I know at the time, he was making it all up to secretly plant one of his own.

The first date that Andy ever took me on was to find a geocache, and it was a hobby that we had both been very fond of.

He called me back over and said that he vaguely remembered it being by a bench.
There happened to be just one bench at the top of the viewpoint, that I went over to, excitedly in search of a geocache.

Sure enough, as soon as I looked around the bench, I saw a little box under a hedge and pulled it out, beaming with joy (but nothing compared to what I was about to). I sat on the bench and handed the 'geocache' to Andy to open. He took off the lid, and inside was a ring box.

At this point I was still a bit embarrassingly oblivious to what was about to happen. I actually remember thinking that a ring box was a strange thing for someone to put in a geocache. Before I had a chance to say anything, Andy got down infront of me on one knee (eeeeee) and luckily, it was at this point, that I clued in. He made it short and sweet, and just held my hand and sincerely asked me to marry him.

I was in such shock that I was being proposed to. I really couldn't believe it. I remember I was smiling and shaking and thinking it couldn't possibly be happening! Despite the dream-like state I was in, I almost immediately said YES.

I genuinely never would have dreamed that Andy was going to propose to me on this trip. It was the best surprise I have ever gotten. I had always said that the most important part of a proposal to me was that I didn't see it coming, and he definitely did well on that point.

The ring was perfect, the proposal was perfect, and most importantly, my future husband is more perfect than I could have ever hoped for.

blowing out the candles

It's my birthday!
*was, my birthday
Here are some photos

Thank you to my lovely friends/family and amazing boyfriend for making my day so very happy 

we breathe the air, we care

  My new job as a registered nurse has been exciting to say the least, but after being off work for a bit, and then on holiday, I am still trying to adjust to working full time (and without access to the internet!)

  I've only been back a few weeks and I've already had to send a patient to the ICU, pronounce a man dead (in front of several weeping family members), insert a nasogastric tube, and much much more! Although I've always had a bit of jealousy over people working desk jobs, there really is nothing else quite like being a nurse (in both a good and bad way).

  I don't think I really realized just how much I actually missed nursing for the few months I'd taken off. As much as I don't like working 12hr day/night shifts, and am already suffering loss of contact with friends/family, being back has been quite refreshing (although we'll see how long my overly optimistic attitude lasts).

  Caring for poorly people in their most vulnerable moments and sharing those experiences with them, is quite enriching and truly does give me a different perspective on things. I see other nurses who have become so desensitized to it all, and I just pray that I will never become that way. I think if I ever do, it will be time to move on.
For however long I stay being a nurse, I know that I am forever changed as a result of it.

At this point, my future is still very much up in the air, but for now, things are seeming to be on the right track.