diary of a doll

brushing off the dust

2011-09-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

The first time I went to England to be an aupair, I knew that it was the sign of something big, but I never imagined back then that I would soon return, and under completely different circumstances.

Of course I went to England the first time with bright eyes and high hopes of falling helplessly into a romantic fairy tale of being swept off my feet by an English gentleman, but I can't say I was surprised when it didn't happen at the end of it. To be honest, chasing after four toddlers all day every day didn't leave much time for being swept off my feet, though I did get my share of fairy tales.

Now that I am living out all of those dreams that I never thought could actually happen, it feels quite differently than I pictured it. Dreaming about being whisked away to another country by a handsome brit versus actually being here and planning a life for myself here, although still exciting, is very different.

Now on my third trip to England, I can say that each journey here has been completely unlike the last. First as a innocent young girl, setting out on her own for the first time, living with complete strangers and caring for children.

Second time, taking the daring step towards meeting Andy for the first time and everything that came with that.

And now, being engaged, planning our wedding, having a home here, and trying my best to find my bearings.

I can't say that things are perfect, and I equally couldn't say that things aren't going as well as I hoped, things are just different. I am happy here, and I love Andy more than ever, but I think it's more the reality that is sinking in more than anything. The realization that this isn't a holiday, that this is how things are now. This is the beginning of how the rest of my life will be. This is my new home; where I will go to work everyday, where I will raise my children, and where I will eventually grow old.

I can honestly say that I never really saw myself doing those things in Vancouver either, I always had this instinct that I'd end up somewhere else, but being here doesn't make it any easier to picture.

I miss my friends, and I miss my family, but I am still loving being with Andy more than anything, and genuinely loving what it means to have a real life with him.

Every day I try more and more to figure out my place here, where I belong and so forth, and I think that I'm heading in the right direction towards putting down roots, but I've still got a ways to go. And a large part of me is excited to take those steps into the unknown.

I have my good days and bad days, but through it all, I know I can count on Andy for support, and in reminding me what this is all for.

Even with the sacrifices, I have so much to gain from being here, and have already had so many new and amazing experiences, all of which are quickly becoming part of my new English life.

Now put on the kettle!

putting our feet in the sand

2011-08-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

The date is set. The invitations have been mailed. And most importantly, the dress has been purchased!
Things are finally coming together!

I always saw myself as quite a 'girly girl' in many aspects, but when it came to planning that fairy tale wedding, I was completely clueless. I always had ideas here and there of what I thought I wanted, but nothing serious enough to build a whole wedding off of.

I did my best to take it all on, but everything seemed a bit overwhelming and not as fun as I had hoped planning that dream day should be. It came to a point where I had kind of thrown in the towel and tried convincing Andy to elope...
He didn't go for it.

But in the end, we decided to go for a destination wedding, and couldn't be more excited!

So Mexico, here we come!
x

My Smile Won't Fade

2011-06-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

For the last two weeks, I have been spending every last second with Andy. He came over from England for a short, but much anticipated visit. I had been missing him so much over our time apart, and seeing him again just reassured me all over again of how perfect he is and how much I want to be with him, no matter what.

From the second he walked through the gate at the airport, I ran over to jump on him with a smile not capable of fitting my face. From that second, that smile has remained in place, and still remains in my heart.

I had never given up on being a hopeless romantic, but I don't think that I ever completely believed in it to it's fullest capacity. Until Andy.

We made the most of our short time together, and I showed him all of the best parts of Vancouver, as it was his first (but surely not last) time here. It had been very busy, trying to fit in all of the sightseeing, with meeting friends and family, and still trying to manage alone time. It was really nice when we left for Ucluelet, Vancouver Island, with my mom, sister, and brother for the weekend. It was a mini getaway from all the rush, and the most magically beautiful place.

We had the most amazing time, and stayed in the fanciest resort I had ever seen. We were right on the ocean, and I couldn't have imagined a more romantic place to escape to.

The first day I was a bit haggard from the 5 hour drive + ferry ride, and despite Andy's 'gentle suggestion' that I make myself look presentable for our dinner out that evening, I was too tired to make any effort, which luckily didn't ruin things too badly.

The next morning, we had a lovely little breakfast together on our private patio, showered under the waterfall double spa shower, and headed out on a walk through the rainforest. It was a stunning walk along cliffs following the ocean, and through the tree's. We walked all the way along, until we came to the most beautiful viewpoint, up above and looking out onto the ocean, overlooking a view that was breathtaking. Andy had told me that he remembered seeing online that there was a geocache in that area, and sent me around the corner to go looking for it. Little did I know at the time, he was making it all up to secretly plant one of his own.

The first date that Andy ever took me on was to find a geocache, and it was a hobby that we had both been very fond of.

He called me back over and said that he vaguely remembered it being by a bench.
There happened to be just one bench at the top of the viewpoint, that I went over to, excitedly in search of a geocache.

Sure enough, as soon as I looked around the bench, I saw a little box under a hedge and pulled it out, beaming with joy (but nothing compared to what I was about to). I sat on the bench and handed the 'geocache' to Andy to open. He took off the lid, and inside was a ring box.

At this point I was still a bit embarrassingly oblivious to what was about to happen. I actually remember thinking that a ring box was a strange thing for someone to put in a geocache. Before I had a chance to say anything, Andy got down infront of me on one knee (eeeeee) and luckily, it was at this point, that I clued in. He made it short and sweet, and just held my hand and sincerely asked me to marry him.

I was in such shock that I was being proposed to. I really couldn't believe it. I remember I was smiling and shaking and thinking it couldn't possibly be happening! Despite the dream-like state I was in, I almost immediately said YES.

I genuinely never would have dreamed that Andy was going to propose to me on this trip. It was the best surprise I have ever gotten. I had always said that the most important part of a proposal to me was that I didn't see it coming, and he definitely did well on that point.

The ring was perfect, the proposal was perfect, and most importantly, my future husband is more perfect than I could have ever hoped for.

blowing out the candles

2011-05-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday!
*was, my birthday
Here are some photos

Thank you to my lovely friends/family and amazing boyfriend for making my day so very happy

we breathe the air, we care

2011-04-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

  My new job as a registered nurse has been exciting to say the least, but after being off work for a bit, and then on holiday, I am still trying to adjust to working full time (and without access to the internet!)

  I've only been back a few weeks and I've already had to send a patient to the ICU, pronounce a man dead (in front of several weeping family members), insert a nasogastric tube, and much much more! Although I've always had a bit of jealousy over people working desk jobs, there really is nothing else quite like being a nurse (in both a good and bad way).

  I don't think I really realized just how much I actually missed nursing for the few months I'd taken off. As much as I don't like working 12hr day/night shifts, and am already suffering loss of contact with friends/family, being back has been quite refreshing (although we'll see how long my overly optimistic attitude lasts).

  Caring for poorly people in their most vulnerable moments and sharing those experiences with them, is quite enriching and truly does give me a different perspective on things. I see other nurses who have become so desensitized to it all, and I just pray that I will never become that way. I think if I ever do, it will be time to move on.
For however long I stay being a nurse, I know that I am forever changed as a result of it.

At this point, my future is still very much up in the air, but for now, things are seeming to be on the right track.

x

comments

♥ kisses are a better fate than wisdom ♥

2011-04-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

I never know what to expect when it comes to love. I never know what to expect when it comes to life either. Things don't always turn out the way that I plan for them to, and I am still trying to figure out where exactly this leaves me.

I struggle with needing an answer to my question of when. When will things finally fall into place? When will my life be in balance? When will we be together indefinitely?

It seems that no one can answer these questions; not even me.

I simultaneously gain and lose my sanity through Andy. Even though he still doesn't let me win at chess, he makes up for it with his charm (while I secretly learn how to pompously defeat him). This evening, he planned a 'date night' which consisted of blown kisses, technical difficulties, and taking turns reading each other a chapter from a book. Because we weren't on camera, he neglected to see my rosing cheeks and sparkling eyes whilst listening to him read aloud.

Being so good at long distance is not a quality that I much admire, but the truth is, I only survive while counting down the days.

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The Bear Necessities

2011-04-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

One of the many downsides of working shifts, is that I often have my days off during the week, when other's are typically at work. This means that on days like yesterday, when it was stunningly beautiful outside and I wanted to go for a hike, no one was around to accompany me.

I don't think I've ever done a proper hike on my own before, but I didn't really see why I couldn't. I headed to a mountain I've done once before, knowing it wasn't that long of a hike and had some nice views from the top. When I pulled in the parking lot, I thought it seemed strange that there weren't many cars, but I figured it was probably just that it was still early, so I disregarded it and set on my way.

It was so pretty outside. The birds were chirping, there was a slight breeze through the tree's, and the sun was still peeking through the dense woods.

My high on nature feeling lasted until I got a bit deeper into the forest, and still hadn't seen a single other person. It was really strange to be completely alone in the woods (and yet, very aware of the fact that I was not at all alone).

I generally don't worry about things that I probably should worry about, but in this case there was definitely a looming anxiety hanging well within consciousness. There were a lot of warning signs for bears, but living in BC I have become accustom to ignoring them.

Growing up with a very outdoorsy/nature savy family, I knew better than to go out alone without any sort of bear warning off equipment. I kept thinking that I was going to be that stupid girl in the newspaper that people don't feel bad for because they were so irresponsible that they probably deserved it. I remembered back to my camping days where my sister, brother and I were part of Jerry's Rangers (a BC kids program that taught kids about the environment, in which I was a star student). I thought about how disappointed Jerry the moose would be in me for not having a bell or whistle, or spray or something!! I remember them teaching us to always make noise, and they would get us to clap our hands to practice scaring the bears away as we walked. I spent a good part of my hike debating whether or not I was too proud to clap as I walked. I was going to be the stupid girl who got eaten by a bear because she was too embarrassed to clap.

Just as I got deathly startled by a bird and decided to give it a go, I realized that I could use my phone to make noise. I don’t have many fancy things on it, and it had no reception, so my only option was to scroll through the 5 second long ringtone previews.

This would have been an alright plan, although being that I was already quite nervous, it just so happened that a few of the default ringtones were unexpectedly menacing. This meant that I hiked through the forest, terrified of being eaten alive by a bear, to the fitting tunes of jaws, and the entertainer.

Considering that I had pretty much jumped out of my skin about 20 times by this point, seeing bears in every rock, log, and pile of dirt, I actually took seeing a real bear rather stoically.

When I first saw the big black bear, it was minding it’s own business (or else extremely clever at deceit whilst secretly planning which limb to eat first). I think it gave me a false sense of comfort, and although I had just spent the last 2 hours planning out my attack (and by attack, I mean debating whether or not I should play dead or try outrunning it) for this very moment, I was captivated by it and wanted to see more. I took a few steps closer and stopped. The second that I stopped, it stopped, turned towards me, and stared directly at me with it’s beedy little bear eyes.

I was unbelieveably tempted to take a picture to show my naïve English boyf of my brave close encounter with a real bear, but he was staring me down pretty hard at this point and I’m pretty sure in the sizing up of it’s opponent, it knew quite well who had the upper hand.

Before it could get to the end of that thought, I backed up and quickly, but not too quickly to make it obvious, walked back along the path, glancing back every few seconds to make sure it wasn’t about to pounce on my back.

It was really actually quite neat! I think I have a big part of Elmira from the looney tunes in me, where I really just wanted to cuddle with it and love it forever and ever. I’ve also always had this sense that animals will like me and therefore not want to kill me. I think I might bring some honey for it next time, as a way of bonding.

The World Spins Madly On

2011-03-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

For those of you who haven't seen it yet...

this is la vie en rose

2011-03-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you for giving me the most amazing, inspiring, and memorable few weeks of my life. But even more than that, thank you for being the most perfect existence of a human being for whom I can extend my love to.

I don't even know how to begin to describe the time we spent together. I am not sure that I have yet discovered words suitable enough to adequately explain the subtle yet life-altering changes that have blossomed inside of me since finding you. If I had, I would have whispered them to you the first time we met.

I would be cliche and say that we complete each other, but I would feel as though I would be doing you an injustice, as you are the most eloquently whole individual that I could ever imagine.

I am even willing to look past our horribly tacky rhyming names.

And as I can't decide how to actually go about blogging this most wonderful of trips, I will just sum it up with a few photo's and memorable highlights

Road trips where you held my hand in between switching gears

The time I kept slipping and you turned to me and said "that's one thing you can't tell online... clumsiness'

When you climbed over top of me in bed and asked me to be your girlfriend

Our many arguments about whether or not you could kill a bear

Posing inappropriately with the manikins at Warwick castle and getting in trouble for entering an off bounds secret passageway

Rolling pizza dough with a nun-chuck because we didn't have a rolling pin

When you gave me a piggy back to protect me from getting muddy, only to have me slip every few seconds in the mud while walking up Clent hills

When you turned to me in the car on the way to the airport, after ages of silence, and said "I promise I'll never forget how much I love you"

Under English Skies

2011-02-24T11:24:00.000-08:00

I feel I've been a bit mysterious in my posts lately and I think that it stems from an uncertainty I've been feeling.
I usually don't blog about people that I am serious about (which, ~~not so~~ luckily for me has been everyone I've had any contact with since the moment I started blogging) and this new person brought with him a lot of risk, which it has taken me time to feel comfortable with.

So I guess now is when I should tell of our story.

I've never had a real 'online relationship' with anyone, and believe me when I say I had my reservations towards them, but I suppose it kind of just snuck up on me unexpectedly over time. In fact, it was this very blog itself that led me to finding love.

It's hard enough for my friends to accept that I blog, let alone falling for someone else in this crazy social networking interweb of a world. In fact, even I took some time to fully accept the realities of the dreaded 'we met online' thing. Dating a blogger has been interesting to say the least and I'm sure to provide more detailed examples in the coming posts, but for now we'll stick to the basics.

Back at the beginning, back where this whole blog started, was on a promise that I made to myself to be more open to experiences and on taking more chances.

I had been tested many times on this, and have done things that I never would have before. It's taken me to new places, to meeting curious people and I really must say that almost everything that's come of it has brought new light to my life, none moreso than him.

When it came to deciding on a place to holiday as my graduation gift, I really couldn't imagine not giving this relationship the chance I felt it deserved. I had never physically met him, and I understood that from the outside everything that I was about to do questioned my sanity and my judgement, but it was something that I just had to do. And of course I wasn't completely alone. Although no one in my real-life world quite understood, he was always on the same page as me and inspired me with more confidence than I could ever have on my own. I knew that this was my opportunity to take my greatest risk of all, and even if it didn't work out, at least I wouldn't be left with a 'what if'.

So what all of this gets down to, is here I am, typing to you from a certain boy's bedroom in England, where I came on instincts of the heart.

And what has come of all this?
I will put it simply and say, love.
Lots and lots of love.
x

je t'aime

2011-01-31T18:12:00.000-08:00

When the person you love decides to take a leap of faith and fulfill all of your romantic hopes that you had started to believe only happened in films, by telling you those three small, but much anticipated words: "I love you"...you really shouldn't respond with "Oh my gosh, don't say that!"

Thank you for loving me despite my inability to ever say the right thing.
x

beneath the spin light

2011-01-05T03:53:00.000-08:00

I always seem to want the things that I can’t have. But worse than that, I’d never admit that I couldn’t’ have any of them. I have an unrealistic view of the world where I think that anything, including the impossible is somehow attainable.

You are my unattainable impossible.

You’ve done something to me that I can’t explain. I’ve never been stricken so suddenly and so sweetly as I have been by you. Every sweet melody that floats in and out of my world reminds me of you. In fact, you now occupy my every thought, despite my resistance and the many consequences that come with any possibility of an ‘us’.

My priorities have changed because of you. I'm not bothered with the normal inconveniences of everyday life. All that I want now is to spend the entire day in bed with you, exactly how you described, until the clouds roll away.
It is thoughts such as these that seem to linger on my mind like eternity.

I've escaped into your world and there’s nowhere I’d rather be. A world where all of my worries fade away and the obstacles no longer exist. I wish more than anything, that this fantasy place were real and not just locked away within the confines of my heart.

We will never have a flawless, ‘easy’ relationship. I’m sorry, I’m not that lucky. If you should fall for me in return, this is just one of the many flaws that you will have to accept.

This may be the only time that I will mention you, but at least just this once, I had to.

My request is simple.

Please take care of my heart.

comments?

Santa Sandwiches

2011-01-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

Before Christmas, a friend of mine had invited me to join her in fundraising/making sandwiches that we would then hand out to the homeless. I loved the idea of it, and even more-so, I had recently been calculating my own self naughty vs nice list of 2010 and realized it was a bit slanted toward the latter... this good deed seemed the perfect last minute way of titling it in my favor.

As soon as I got on board, people were already donating a ton. There ended up being a way better turn out than we ever expected, and even had a ton of local bakery's/shops donate bread/food to help out. We had planned on making around 200 sandwiches, but with all the money and items we raised, we ended up having enough to make 1000 sandwiches!

Not only did we put them all together, but all 90 loaves of bread had to be sliced. Along with the 2 full sized hams. And don't forget all 3 xx large blocks of cheese that needed to be cut.

...I made the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

More than work, however; it was a super fun day! We even shared a bit of spiked eggnog and snacks during the process.
We drove downtown to The Union Gospel Mission, who kindly offered to help us out, and handed them out (and even had some leftovers). Everyone was so grateful and it was a lovely feeling to know that we were able to give a bit of kindness to some no longer strangers.

For someone who loves sandwiches, I have a feeling I'll be holding off for a little while.

I hope you all had lovely holidays!
x

shiny lights + sparkles + sweets

2010-12-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

You know those annoyingly sentimental Christmas-y spirited people? The kind who actually get excited to do Christmas activities such as shopping in insanely busy stores on weekends, listening (and singing obnoxiously to) endless carols, and filling their days up with every last winter event possible (including the ones just meant for children). Well, as the holiday festivities start creeping up, I turn into the best kind of one of those.

I love Christmas time. With it's pretty lights, fancy drinks, rosey noses and cold hands looking to be held, it fills my heart with a little needed warmth. And despite my singleness, I revert all of my woe is me, i'm so lonely-energy into being the best little housewife who isn't a wife at all and doesn't exactly own a house.

Minor details.

I had some girls over for gingerbread house making and crafts! I had seen this e-friendly Christmas tree decoration craft and thought it was such a good idea, so I got everyone to make one.

We had lots of sweets and even more chatter, and it turned out to be a delightful evening!

Comment here if you don't see the link
x

Happiest of days, Sir!

2010-12-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

It's not often that I come across somebody who is not only an amazing blogger, but also a truly wonderful person and friend (except of course, all of you reading this, who also blog...) but, being that today is his birthday, I feel that I need to share this fantastic person with you all. I don't even know where to begin in introducing him because my mind fills with adjectives (including a few I think I made up in describing him, such as splendideriffic).

He is a true English gentleman, an avid book enthusiast, exquisite writer and to top it all off, he is the most modest person I know! So who is this too-good-to-be-true guy, you ask? Well, he goes by tbr, and you can find his quaint corner of the internet here.

On your birthday, I want to wish you an awesome day filled with love and happiness. I think you were possibly the first (certainly within the first 5) blogs that I ever started following, and were one of my very first followers. I don't know how you've stuck with me for this long, but there is no getting rid of me now!
Since the beginning you have entertained me with your words and continue to amaze me to this day!

I still plan on taking you up on that trip to London!

Happy Birthday!!

And as a little internet version of a birthday present, Risha and I put together a little something for you...
...yes, we spend a lot of time internet stalking you and putting together evil plans that revolve around our fondness of you...we even had a mutual e-evil laugh over it all.

If you ever need blackmail material on me, I'd start here...

-Your biggest fan (and co-founder of the TBR fanclub)

Baby, it's Cold Outside

2010-11-18T00:38:00.000-08:00

Originally this was a diary entry that was to stay privately in my diary, but a friend encouraged me to post it so here is a very intimate story told from deep within my heart.

"How do I begin to write about the sadness I feel over a man that I barely even knew.

I don't know what it is about grumpy, unhappy old men but something in me is oh so fond of them. Perhaps it's the thought that I can bring them a little bit of peace that they seem to be missing and the hope that maybe I can show them that world really isn't as awful as it may seem.

Mr B. was just that man.

He was a bitter, frustrated, miserable, and depressed man. He was far from what the average nurse would call an 'ideal patient' but yet he put up with everything that we had put him thorough and believe it or not, he was truly a very kind and warm hearted man.

I immediately took a liking to Mr B. and him to me. I took time my with him and I was gentle. I sat next to him when he was angry and held his hand when he seemed upset.

He would never have said that he needed that, but not once did he pull away. And despite his stubbornness he told me that he only put up with all this medical stuff because I was the one delivering it, and not for a second would he accept any of it, he told me, had it been done by anyone else.

I took a great amount of joy in knowing that, but of course I never let him know it.

On Sunday he had asked me when I'd be back again, to which I told him 'I will be back again tomorrow, Mr B'. and without even making eye contact, he climbed underneath his covers and I could barely even make out under his mumbling, the simple remark 'good.' he said before dozing off.
The next day came and I knew that he was scheduled to go for surgery so I made sure to stop in to room 23 so that I could wish him well before going for his much anticipated operation. He never had any visitors so it was important to me to be there for him. Probably moreso than it was to him.

He looked crushed when he saw me enter the room that day and before I could even say hello he demanded to know where I had been. I told him that I was not assigned to be his nurse that day and I had my own patients to look after. He was not amused.

He said to me in a half joking half angry voice 'But didn't they get the letter I sent that you are to be the only person I ever want again as my nurse?'

I wanted to tell him right then 'you are the only person I want to be my patient'. But I didn't. Instead I made some witty remark, brushed it off, and moved on.

He began telling me that his surgery that was supposed to happen that day had been cancelled for various reasons (now for the second time) and he wouldn't be going now until tomorrow. He denied caring either way but I could tell that he was quite upset about it. In fact, he was more than upset with life at the moment.

I asked him if he was nervous or scared about the surgery at all to which he responded 'why would I be? It's not like its going to help anything anyways. They never do'. And he continued to tell me how he didn't think that he would ever leave that hospital alive, but it was okay, he said, because 'his wife no longer wanted him anyways' so he would have no place to go anyways. He never once said it with the hopes of gaining pity or sadness, it was just a fact and he had accepted that.

I tried reassuring him but I knew that thats what he truly believed. And a part of me really thinks that that really is what he wanted, to never have to face going home. To stop being a burden on people. He spent a lot of time watching and analyzing the other people in his room and secretly telling me which ones were never going to make it out. I think that being a witness of such poor and sickly people really took away any hope that he had at getting better himself.

On Monday he asked me for help dialing his cellphone as he was trying to get a hold of his wife and his shaking hands were a sign that he was clearly struggling with it. I offered to dial for him and as I sat with the phone pressed against my ear.
It absolutely devastated me when ring after ring after ring turned into an answering machine.
He asked 'is it still ringing?' I didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise, but he knew. I assured him that it was just the middle of the day and she had probably gone out for a bit. Maybe, I said, she was out buying him a present. He didn't say anything.

I was determined that she really was just out, and she would see the missed call and call back immediately. How could anyone not?? I went back a few hours later to see Mr Banks lying asleep with his phone next to his pillow. No new calls.

I asked if I could try calling again, as it was later now and she might be back. But again, it just rang.

He brushed it off casually and said quite matter a factly that his wife no longers wants him.

This time I think he really felt that. She no longer wanted to speak with him. For whatever reason, she had completely removed herself from his life and all that was happening. When he needed someone the most, no one was there.

They had been married over fifty years and after all of it, good or bad, she had abandoned him completely. For me, not being able to be that person to be there for him killed me. I could never offer him the support that comes from a loved one.
That night, as always he rang the call bell to have me fix up his blankets as he was always very fussy about having them just right. I don't know how he managed to do it, but every night he would twist himself in knots in those things and get all worked up about it. I would just laugh at him and shake my head. He loved the way I would take each flannel individually over him and tuck him in perfectly. And would always finish by saying 'thank you, love'.
And when he wasn't saying that, he was singing to me. I swear that anything I said to him would somehow turn into song and he would belt out into full lyric. The last night, as tucking him in I made note that it sure was cold that evening, to which he sang 'baby it's cold outside....'

I came onto night shift Monday evening to hear from the day nurses that yet again, Mr B. had a rough day. I made mental note to go spend some time with him before he went to sleep.

In nursing report, we talked quite a bit about how this man has been through so much and I found myself not being able to stop talking about him. The other nurses caught on that I had apparently made quite a bond with him. But for once I was actually glad to not be assigned to him that night. I just had a sense that he was going to have a bad night and it would be emotionally upsetting for me. Instead, I liked the idea of being able to just stop in and talk to him without having to actually be his nurse.

After report, I checked my patients and started doing the necessary things before I could go say hello when a fellow nursing student came into my room and said that they needed help because they couldn't seem to wake Mr B.

My heart sank.
I dropped everything in that second and ran into his room. I gave a sigh of relief to when i saw him visibly still breathing. I called his name as I grabbed his arm and gently stroked him to wake up. I knew it was stupid but I thought that maybe, just maybe there was a small touch of a chance that if he heard my voice he would magically wake up and be okay. I knew it was crazy but I just wasn't ready to accept any other option than wake up and be okay.

I shook him harder. It caused me great anguish to try the pain tactics for getting a response out of someone as the last thing I ever wanted was to cause him more pain. But I did it because at this point waking him up was the only thing on my mind.

Far too quickly for what I was prepared for, the nurse resigned that there was nothing more that they could do. Right in front of him she said that someone should call his family to come say goodbye as he was clearly dying.
How could they say that!? He wasn't dying yet! I've seen people dying, I've been there as people pass away. This wasn't how it happened. It takes a long time and people go through stages. There breathing deteriorates and the patterns change. They hold on until people have had a chance to say goodbye. Mr B. was only just fine less than an hour ago, he still had time, perhaps even days.

The nurses stepped out and I stayed behind.

I grabbed his hand, it was cold. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I don't do this. Mr B. Don't make me do this. You stubborn old man, stop it!

I looked at his face which was now pale and his kind eyes closed. His lips were blue.

I should have accepted it right then but I was still sure that he had more time. And I knew if I stayed there was nothing I could do and I didn't want to be seen upset.

I went back to my own patients, struggling to do anything. Dropping things and getting mixed up.

I somehow managed to give out some medications and settle my patients to bed when I heard news, less than 30minutes later, that Mr B had passed. I think that the look on my face upon hearing this startled the nurse a little, obviously not being away of my connection to him.

I dropped what I was doing, still thinking it was a mistake, and went to his bedside where they were already cleaning his body as you would to someone who was deceased.

This time his chest was no longer rising and falling and his blue lips no longer grasping for air. He was simply still.

I put my hand on his leg which was still warm but cooling by the minute.

I am good at holding back tears and emotion in times of sadness, but I was dying inside.

I helped to prepare his body for his family to come and say goodbye, still feeling sick and in shock at the whole situation, only to learn that his wife did not want to come say goodbye.

At this point I could no longer hold back actual tears in my eyes and therefore walked away as to go unnoticed. I walked over to the window where my other favorite 'grumpy old man' was sitting on his bedside, obviously not able to sleep with the commotion beside him. He looked at me and asked what had happened to his neighbor (whom he had also become close with, having been in beds side by side for quite some time). I couldn't answer his question. I just looked at him and he said 'he has passed then?' I nodded. The tears in my eyes got bigger. Instead of me being there for this patient who could have easily been traumatized for having been lying down beside a man who has just died, he spoke instead to me with wise words and comfort. He told me strictly not to cry, so I did everything I could not to let the tears fall from my eyes.

I was beyond grateful for him at that moment.

I came back to the room to see Mr B's body fully bagged and I escorted him down to the morgue.

Only for you, you stubborn old man would I voluntarily go into a Morgue.

Goodbye, love. "

I can't tell you what I learned from school but I could tell you a story or two...

2010-11-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

Since I've been looking back at my nursing education, I have been reminded of some of my not so fine moments over the years, and thought why not share my embarrassing stories with you!

I had to cut the list short, as there have been many...but heres a few that stand out

1. This first one that has happened on numerous occasions. There have been (far too) many times that I've attempted to take a blood pressure on a patient only I accidentally put the cuff on inside-out so that as it's blowing up you can hear the velcro coming apart and then it embarrassingly just pops right off their arm. The patients always look up confused, which is when I say... 'oh, weird...that's never happened... must be a machine malfunction'. Then turn the cuff right way around and do it again.

2. Having a patient with dementia call a coworker in close and say in a terrified quite whisper 'There's something behind you". Only to have the coworker then turn around, slightly worried, and see that the only thing behind her was me, standing there smiling obliviously.

Patients with dementia are always interesting...another asked me if my mother was an alcoholic whore.

3. Working in the emergency room and walking straight through the closed curtains to see what was going on in the trauma room, and just as I do suddenly have a bunch of people all yell "X-RAY" at me. I naturally assumed that they were asking if I was the x-ray technician and so my obvious response was "No, I'm an ESN (student)" but what they were actually doing was warning me that they were taking an XRAY and I was stupidly standing there being exposed. Opps.

4. Doing a neurovital check on a patient, including checking there pupils for reactivity and reporting my findings to the nurse:

Me: "I tried several times, but I found the patients right pupil had no reaction to light...?"
Nurse: Well thats good.
Me: Why would that be good?
Nurse: Because it's a glass eye.

5. Looking at a patients dressing on their lower hip where I had to pull his pants down to be able to see it and as a joke he screamed 'RAPE!'

Before I even had time to react, at least 3 nurses ran into the room to find me standing there like a deer in headlights pulling the mans pants down, eye level with his junk.

6. Working in maternity and having a 17 year old patient in labor (and myself knowing nothing about labor) walking into the room mid-contraction, all cheery and upbeat and introducing myself... to which her response was "I DON'T CUSSING GIVE A CUSS WHO THE CUSS YOU ARE...ROARRRRALKSJARRJKASH..." The 'roarrralksjarrlkahs' may or may not have happened, along with the beady red eyes and explosion of smoke I saw from her spinning head.
However I have since learned not to interrupt a woman during contractions...

I wish I could say that my embarrassing nursing moments are behind me, but I can assure you they are only just beginning...and I can no longer blame it on being 'just a student'.

Life's not a Paragraph

2010-11-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

After almost 5 years of post secondary schooling, I am down to my last 6 shifts EVER of my nursing education. On December 17, 2010 I will officially (pending any unforeseeable complications) have my Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree!!

I can't even begin to tell you the way that this makes me feel. Everything from wanting to cry my eyes out to screaming at the top of my lungs to kissing random strangers.

Everything I feel seems to be a contradiction at the moment. I'm happy but sad. I feel ready to start a new chapter but yet so unprepared. I feel both motivated and terrified.

Nursing school has given me some of the best and worst moments of my life and it amazes me to think how much it has changed me as a person. When I think back to all of the many patients I have had over the years, and how each one has had an impact on me. I remember being so excited to put on my first pair of scrubs, putting them on and showing them off to my family. And then my first stethoscope that I used to practice listening to heart and lung sounds on my poor sleeping dog. The first time I said "I will be your nurse for today".
I even still remember my first ever patient, Susan. I believe that she was in her 80's, unable to speak, other than little noises that she would make. She was adorable. Even in her hospital gown, with her many medical complications, she carried herself like a lady, and I respected that. I remember that I would sit her up every morning and do her hair, put on her blush, and paint her lips a lovely pink colour that she kept at her bedside. I remember thinking 'wow, this is MY patient...OMG this is MY patient!!!' I think I secretly repeated the words 'please don't die' hundreds of times in my head (and still do...).
Every little task seemed daunting and I didn't think I'd ever be able to do it. I actually have to pause and think now that I am actually here.

It took me a good year to come to the realization that when people yelled 'nurse!' They were actually talking to me.

I remember thinking how far away semester 8 seemed and how those students seemed like 'real' nurses. Back then I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must be like.

Back when every little thing was new and when the tiniest things made astounding impressions on me. I was so naive and so impressionable. To be honest, I'm still very impressionable. I like to think that I just take things to heart, even if I've seen them a million times.

Thinking back brings up a million memories filled with first's. From my first injection, to the first time a patient coded, to the first time I had a patient die and had to bag their body, all way back to the first time I saw a live birth and gave the baby it's first ever bath of it's little life. And then there was asking a patient if they've thought about suicide today, and asking a mother intimate details of her 'flow'. To be honest, these things have not gotten a whole lot easier to this day.

I don't think my memories of nursing school will ever leave me as they are so strongly embedded into who I now am. Certain patients will never leave my heart. Most specifically, my 4th ever patient, a 23 year old heroine addict and prostitute who has forever changed my life.

I like to think that in a way I will always be naive in the sense that I won't become tainted. Far too many nurses lose that, and I don't ever want to get to that point. I want to always have hope and bring hope to others. From all of the light that patients have filled me with, it is all I can do to try and give some of that back.

Even in it's worst moments, I love being a nurse.

Meet my boyfriend Reddit

2010-11-03T02:07:00.000-07:00

Being that people who blog are typically generalized as being internet geeks of sorts, I naturally assume that you all know what Reddit is, but as I tend to make my love quite public, it has come to my attention that this is not the case.

So I guess, yet again, that leaves me alone in my nerdiness. Now that I've typed that out, I suppose that the words 'alone' and 'nerd' do kind of go hand in hand....

Well let me introduce you, Reddit is a user-generated news links website, that basically brings all the best everything from the internet together to one convienient place.

The users (known as 'redditors') are hilarious, intelligent and awesome. My favorite 'meme' going are threads based entirely on puns, such as this one: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dwpfs/this_girl_came_up_to_me_and_said_she_recognised/

I've been told that introducing people to reddit is introducing them to the end of their 'daywalking' days, but it's worth it!
Where else can you find pictures like this...

Anyways, believe it or not I actually am going somewhere with this...

So being that I've been single for awhile and somewhat sick of the regular dates and 'club scene' I've been accustomed too recently, I heard about a Vancouver Reddit meetup and got excited.
I thought it would be such a great place to meet people who actually share interests with me and who obviously have a sense of humor (I also kind of have a thing for the geeky-hipster types, so the fact that I knew it would be a room full of them was slightly tempting)

As this type of website is known for being almost entirely male dominated, I was admittedly hesistant to attend so I commented on the post stating my worries...
"Am I be the only girl in attendance? And also, I just have to ask, am I going to get raped?"

I got a few responses mostly saying some version of "no, no we are all kind gentlemen here!" But then there was one that just simply said "I can't make any promises"
I thought, ha thats funny...but then I saw the guys username:
'imgonnarapeyou'
And he hadnt' just made the account either, it was a perfectly excecuted line as reddit is so famous for.
The funny part was that the guy actually private messaged me and asked if I wanted to carpool. Hahaha. I know I am random but I don't go thaaaat far.

So after going back and forth between going and not, my friend gave me peptalk and basically forced me to go. I drove the whole way there thinking "I'm not actually doing this, am I?"

Wondering who would even be there. Was I going to show up to a room full of 60 year old men?

I got to the place, which was a hip bar/lounge in gastown and sat in my car for about 15minutes before I got enough courage to walk in alone.
I love that I can do stuff like this, but honestly, in the moment it takes everything I have to actually be able to walk into a place alone, knowing not one person inside.

So as my heart was racing and I was regretting every second, the hostess said, looking around for my other half: "are you just here by yourself?"

Oh great, as if this wasn't morifying enough. thanks.

So I exlpain to her that I am here for the meetup, and shes says "ohh, okay, I'll get the waitress to take you over"

But obviously that message didn't get conveyed because the waitress tried seating me at a table completely by myself in the main restaurant (when apparently the actual meetup was downstairs). It was awful. I was literally just waiting for her to turn around so I could run out, but before that happened she realized her mistake (although I guess I can't blame her for not assuming I was part of the nerdy group of computer guys).
She lead me down the stairs (yah, they would place us in the basement), and I walked in to a group of about 30 guys (1girl) all looking at me like wtf are you doing here?

I smiled nervously as one guy offered to take me in, and bragged that he should get props for bringing in a girl to the group. I literally sat down as guys crowded around me and just stared at me. It was pretty hilarious. I even had guys high fiving me for showing up and asking what it's like to be a girl on Reddit.

I admit it gave me quite the confidence boost. I've never been in a situation where the odds were so in my favor. And on top of that, they were the most fun, friendly, hilarious guys ever! It was soooo much fun! I was mad that I had to work the next morning, as a bunch of them were all going out together and tried to get me to come with them.
I even met imgonnarapeyou, and he was awesome! I had to refuse the candy he offered, but other than that, it was a rape-free night! Success!

Overall the whole thing was way better than expected! I love when I push myself out of my comfort zone and it all works out!

And it didn't end there either, I came on the next morning to find 4 new private messages.
I could get used to that.

This is how we do CPR

2010-09-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

Every year it is a requirement of my nursing school that we take a CPR class which is probably good considering there are code blues at the hospital quite frequently. However, it does get a bit repetitive learning the exact same thing over and over. However, this time there seemed to be something new...

The first thing that we were told to do was put a stack of picture-cards in the correct order of the steps one would take in performing CPR. All was going well and we were speeding through the sequence, until we saw this one...

So many things came to mind...
Was this the new way of doing CPR? Have I been doing it wrong all this time? I really don't remember this being a step in the process...
Does the blowjob come before, or after compressions?

Good Times Are Calling

2010-09-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a long weekend thanks to Labor Day Monday, and I of course planned on doing anything BUT labor on this lovely day off! Actually, I decided to spend the whole weekend away. And even though most of my class spent their 2 weeks in much more tropical places, I went to Vancouver Island where I was just happy to get away for at least a few days.

We went to Parksville which is a little vacation town on the island. We got quite lucky and ended up having really nice weather the whole time which is just what I needed, sun and beach!

From the ferry we checked into our resort and didn't waste any time before heading to the shops. Parksville is apparently known for their little shopping village that features real live goats on top of the market. I didn't believe it myself until I saw them...I'm not sure how cleanly it is to have goats living on top of a restaurant, but no one seemed to mind.

It made for quite the unique shopping experience.

And along with the goats where tons of statues (obviously this place was built for tourists). Below is by far my favorite.

I have an unnatural obsession with Buddha. This pretty much made my day. And yes, of course I rubbed his belly! The other statue that I got conned (not really but for the sake of saving me embarrassment, I won't admit to it being my idea...) into also posing on top of a giant rooster. It amused plenty.

After spending the day in the shops, we went back to the resort and went for an evening stroll along the outstretched beach.

The next morning we decided to be adventurous and go Caving (or is it Spelunking?). Either way, I literally dropped down into a tiny pitch black cavern hundreds of meters below the surface! I have never done anything like that before and I'm sooo glad that I did! It was so much fun! Luckily I am not very claustrophobic (we actually lost one person before we even entered the cave, just looking at the tiny hole in the rock we all had to squish through). I had no idea the types of neat formations that come out of a cave. Actually I really should, I took a geology class (forgive me but I have to say it: geology, rocks! hehehe) in high-school but I guess it never cemented in my mind.

Cave wolf

Cave Buddha. I didn't get to rub this one's belly :(

Just a cave.

But yes, it was a really great adventure and I cant wait to go again! I will make sure to bring proper 'caving' clothes next time as all I had packed with me for the weekend were dresses, tights and cardigans. I know, I know, I'll never learn, don't even bother trying. I had to borrow the only option of my brother's oversized, ripped, pink floyd hoodie. I suppose when I think of cave people, they aren't exactly the most best dressed of people.

The weekends over, and starting tomorrow I begin my last semester of nursing school! Eeep!

xox

We Have 'Standards', We Just Don't Have Morals

2010-08-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

After every semester my nursing class celebrates that we have made it one step further, and this time it was especially meaningful because we have now officially made it past the hardest and last ever academic semester of our nursing education.

After all of the stress and pent up anger of classes, we usually go all out at our parties, and even name them the annual 'Nurses Gone Wild' party, to which we generally live up to pretty well.

One of my classmates' girlfriends generously offered to have the party at her house which was awesome because there are about 60 of us just in the class and most of them have significant others on top of that. There was a ton of food as everyone brought something and of course even more alcohol.

(looking guilty as I generally don't eat meat...)

At some point someone found the hosts little sisters' bunny mask which was a hit for the rest of the night, making appearances in almost every photo. I admit to being a major part of this, photo evidence to follow. Although I think I gave it up when at some point during the night I had the rabbit mask on and a girl from class pretended to have sex with me and a guy from class laughed and said 'hahaha, classic Brandi'.
I feel pretty confident that I have never been in that situation before so I am not sure what exactly he meant by that comment. Imitating animals whilst getting fake raped is not something I'd quite like to be a classic representation of me...

(I won't mention names, thank goodness you have a mask on ;) )

I have an amazing nursing class and it was so much fun to celebrate with all of them! We definitely deserved it!

From this point on we now will have 4-12hour shifts, 4 days off (all unpaid of course) until graduation in December! It feels good to be so close to the end! I'm thinking I will take a month to travel before settling into my career, any ideas where I should go??

Who doesn't love a girl that smells like Tangerine

2010-08-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

Prepare to be jealous of my wonderful date (I was there and I'm jealous of it). Just remember that I am still single and lonely. Minus the lonely bit just for this day. But single. Definitely single. And cursed.

So if you remember Swiss fellow from a previous post...well we have been out a few more times and it's still nothing serious but we always have a lot of fun together and have been hanging out more often lately (but I promise myself not to get too attached because he actually just found out he is leaving back to Switzerland in 2 weeks. Perfect).

Well yesterday we started out the day by having a lovely brunch together after which we sat at the piano and ~~butchered~~ played a few songs together. Did I mention that he did the dishes?

From there we decided to walk to the ocean-side park. It was a beautifully sunny day out and there was a concert playing at the park so the scenery just happened to also be pretty much perfect. As we were walking along, he jumped off the path and down to the beach where he continued to take off his shoes and walk along the sand, encouraging me to follow. I was a little more hesitant as it's quite messy and seaweed-y and ocean-y. But I agreed to walk a few steps, shoes on.

As ~~he dragged me~~ we walked further along, the sand/mud became extremely slippery (as the tide was really far out) and I had no choice but to give in a take my shoes off. Immediately my feet sunk ankle deep into the sand and my toes filled with the squishy mud. It was disgusting and felt icky and gross, but I later decided that I actually quite liked the feeling.

He held my hand and picked me up every time that I got stuck in the sand (which was many). We walked and walked and walked, picking up seashells and pointing out crabs until we finally came to the water and again I was persuaded by him to drop my inhibitions and get my feet wet. Literally.

He tied my dress for me so that it wouldn't get wet (or at least that was the idea) and we walked what looked like a mile out to sea, still only knee-high. It was such an unexpected way to be spending the way, when I had just assumed we would go for a walk along the trail and was now wading in the waves of the ocean. And as I was standing there thinking this to myself, he picked me up out of the water and kissed me. He then proceeded to hold both my hands and slow dance with me in the middle of the ocean (with the band still playing lovely jazz music in the background).

So there I was, being swung, dipped, and twirled by a handsome swiss lad in the middle of the ocean.

It was kind of perfect.

After splashing around in the water for hours and helping some kids build a wall of sand, we continued to walk on the normal people path, and out onto the dock.

He offered to hold my purse for me which I thought was awfully gentlemanly of him, until of course I realized it was only to pick me up and carry me into the children's water park and hold me over top of a fountain, drenching me completely. What he didn't perhaps realize was that my dress goes see-through when wet. (I need to stop getting wet on dates [no sexual innuendo intended]). But I guess that just added to the sponteneity of it...?

He then continued to convince little children to spray me with water guns. But at least he kind of made up for it by giving me a movie moment and kissing me under the fountain.

I guess that was...cute?
(Who am I kidding, I was completely taken by the whole event. Hitting him girlishly and saying 'oh my gosh, stop this immediately!' really meant, 'Swoon, swoon, swoon-swoon Is anybody seeing this? Swoon. I hope people are seeing this.Swoon. Of course they are, they are soooo jealous right now. Look at their faces. That's right, I'm THAT couple right now. Swoon.

After being completely soaked, we headed back to the apartment where we figured we were already wet, we might as well go to the swimming pool.

So we played around in the pool for the evening which I have never done with a boy before and it was so much fun! I was a 12 year old all over again, splashing around doing somersaults and handstands. It was romantic to be swimming around together but at the same time it's not the most prone to good-lookingness of environments. Having my hair slicked back (especially for someone used to having bangs/fringe 24/7) and what was left of my make-up running down my face, maybe not my best look. Oh and even more so when he dunked me underwater unexpectedly and I came up and accidentally spat out a mouth full of water directly into his face. Oops.

We decided to have a race but 3 seconds in when I realized that I had no chance of winning, I pretended that I had choked on some water and had to stop. He bought it and kissed my cheek... I guess I'm kind of competitive.

I did however win another bet we had on whether or not this young guy and girl were a couple. When they kissed I cheered in excitement, not realizing how loud I was when they stopped kissing and both looked at me. I'm not the most stealth human being.

He carried me over to the pool 'rule' sign and told me that I'd better read #7 which read 'all persons with long hair are required to wear a hair cap' and tsk tsk'd me that I was breaking the rules.

So I told him to read #3:
'No animals allowed'.

When we were all swam out we went back upstairs and had some spaghetti on the patio while watching the sunset after which we cuddled on the sofa and watched movies.

C'est magnifique!

Good dates are the best!
I hope I'm not doomed for dating from now on.

hide and seek -- trains and sewing machines

2010-08-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

So after listening to a few of my brother's comical stories about ad's he had read on craigslist, I figured it was time I indulged myself a little in this crazy online community. And to my delight, it was not to disappoint.

Craigslist. It's not just for psycho's and sex maniacs anymore!

At first I just enjoyed reading ad's from people with really bizarre requests, such as a young man who just really wanted to know what it was like to make-out with someone with braces. He promised that it did not need to go any further than kissing, but it would mean a lot to him to have this experience.

No, I did not reply.

Or the one titled "dim sum" which caught my attention. It was a man who just wanted people to meet up with once a month to go out for dim sum. I mean you have to understand where he's coming from, you can't dim sum alone!!

And who doesn't love reading missed connections! Like this one...

We were checking each other out on a romantic downtown sidewalk today at around 10:30am. We were both outside the homeless shelter, though I'm hoping you don't live there. I know I don't. You had a beard and were wearing a hat, and you were manishly lifting heavy things.

The turning point in this addiction was when I actually took the next step and replied to one. But it didn't stop there, it became an obsession to reply to them all the time. My most recent fascination was this post:

Is there anyone out there who would just respond to the word "grapefruit" with some witty remark or question? I am curious to see what I will get.

That is all.

You can't tell me that you wouldn't be intrigued to reply...

As uncool of a thing as it is to scour on craigslist, I admit that my friend list has gone up quite a bit. I am currently teaching 2 people English (one in exchange for Spanish), and offered to show another around the city.

I was tempted to reply to a few 'hiking partner wanted' ad's, but my friends (who already can't stand my geeky antics) seemed to think it was a bad idea to meet up with strange men off the internet and go off into the woods alone together. I guess I just don't see it that way. I admit that I trust people to a fault. To be honest, I still think it would be fine.

Well just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, I went off the deep end.

That's right. I met up with someone off of craigslist.

I've always wanted to go geocaching (fyi: just by reading this post you are becoming less cool) but as I have somehow managed to always have 'cool' friends, I've never had anyone to go with. In fact I've been banned from even mentioning the word geocache.

So if you don't know what this is (and if you are still reading this) it's basically just hiking with an added bonus of finding treasure. It's a huge 'sport' that people become pretty involved in but it seems as though a lot of people still don't know what it is even though millions exist all over the world.

When I was a child, my grandpa was a huge geocacher and would always take me into the wildness to these places in the middle of no where (wow I realize how awful this is sounding right now but I promise he never touched me there, there, OR there). It was actually a really fun memory. At the time I never understood what the whole thing was but I loved opening the treasure boxes and finding little toys inside.

Anyways, after replying to the ad of a guy looking for ppl to go geocaching with, we exchanged emails back and forth for about the next month, just talking about it and other stuff and trying to figure out a time that we could both go. He had only been once before with a friend who was quite experienced so we knew it was going to be a challenge. From emailing back and forth I had a pretty good sense that he was a decent guy, but again it could just be my belief that people are generally good.

We finally sorted it all out and he came over so that we could pick a few coordinates close to where I live. (Yes, I realize that inviting a stranger into my home while I am alone is maybe not the smartest thing, but clearly if you know me you know that this is just something that I would do and despite efforts, I really can't be helped).

The second he walked in he saw a guitar, picked it up and started playing. It was a little weird as I was just meeting him for the first time, and as I'm thinking this is my head, he suddenly starts full-out singing. Also, considering the circumstances, I suppose playing musical instruments upon introduction > murdering me in my home.

I would normally be pretty weirded out (and kind of was) but his voice was so amazing that I was just trying not to swoon all over him. Oh, did I mention that for an internet geek on craigslist, he's actually really good looking...In fact, even for a normal person, he's still quite good looking. Having a cute guy serenade me with a guitar (and be good at it) is kind of attractive. I've also been single for a while now so it really doesn't take a whole lot to flatter me anymore. You basically just need to make eye contact with me and I get flustered.

When he was finished singing, and I awkwardly congratulated him on his musical ability, we picked the coordinates and headed out, gps in hand, ready to find some treasure! First, we stopped at the looney store to buy some cheap toys to put into the cache. (The idea is that you take what's in the cache and replace it with something else).

We took off to the place we thought it was and followed the gps as best as we could, stopping every 5 steps completely confused and unsure of which way we were supposed to be going. I do blame him for this because I was quite upfront with the fact that I am directionally challenged whereas I was lead to believe that he was quite good at this sort of thing.

We finally made it within a 5m. radius of where the cache was supposed to be hidden. I did not have a clue what I was even supposed to be looking for, but regardless, I jumped into the brush, sticks, and piles of leaves and started eagerly looking for treasure.

I think we were probably quite amusing/confusing for the many people walking by us wondering what on earth we were doing digging around in the bushes, but we continued regardless.

(photos by Alicia)

For what we had figured out of the gps, it was basically leading us off the edge of a cliff that neither of us were too fond to go over. We dug around a little more and covered ourselves in dirt, leaves and spiderwebs just enough to finally give up and call it a fail.

I was quite disappointed that we never ended up finding any, but it was still a lot of fun!

We sat down on a nearby bench to reflect on our sad attempt at geocaching and debating over exactly whose fault it was that we were so terrible (conclusion = 90% him, 10% the gps)

We ended up sitting on the bench for nearly 3 hours, talking about everything from his experiences with drugs, and our views on one night stands, to favorite music and the philosophy of lululemon.

He actually seemed to be not crazy at all. In fact, I was a little disappointed with just how sane he seemed to be.

And although I never actually got to find a geocache, I did get to have quite a unique experience of a day. And I'm still alive and un-raped which is always the sign of a successful adventure.

I've Been Exposed

2010-07-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

After years of going unnoticed, my deep dark secret has recently been publicly exposed.
Yes, it's true. I am 24 years old and I have never owned flip-flops. I can hear the gasps and cries from all of you screaming. 'THE HORROR'! I know, I know.

I wish I could give you a good excuse about how I was the victim of some horrible flip-flop stealing crime that took me years of therapy to recover from, or you know, something like that...but the truth is I've just never had any.

So it started while joining friends from school at the beach several days in a row. The first day I got off the hook as it was late and I had to walk a ways to get there so my ballerina flats were passed off as somewhat acceptable. But the next day when I showed up in mini-heeled sandles, I was not as lucky.

To me, my 'mini-heels' are the equivalent of flip-flops to everyone else, but to everyone else you'd think I just walked up in 7" knee-high hooker boots. It's as if people were actually insulted at my choice of footwear.

I think it probably had to do with the fact that I sunk into the sand with every step I took and flipped sand up everywhere as I drunkenly stumbled in the sand. Everyone laughed at my inability to get anywhere without looking ridiculous, but the stubborness in me refused to take them off.

It turned quickly from a joke to pure pity. I don't know if they all thought that I was too poor to buy myself $3 flip-flops (which doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering the shoes I showed up in were clearly a little more expensive), or if my mother banned my from wearing flip flops, or maybe I had a traumatizing flip flop incident as a child, but everyone yelled at me to get some asap and said that if I didn't they would.

I ignored them all and went back to the car where I held my heels close to my cheek and promised them that they were amazing shoes and not to listen to anything those crazy people said, assuring them that I would never leave them for some cheap brightly coloured can-barely-even-be-called shoes.

The next week in class as we went around doing 'check-in' Amer announced that she had a special gift that she would like to present to me. I think I was the only one in more shock than the teacher when she pulled out a pair of polka dot flip flops from her bag!

So you can all sleep at night knowing that I now own, and have actually worn, a pair of flip flops!

I promise to wear them next time I come to the beach, just don't tell my other shoes! :)

xox

I'm Enjoying the Gale Force Winds

2010-07-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

As much as I appreciate not having completely disastrous dates, as a blogger, it would really help to spruce up the story a bit. Unfortunately, my date last night did not leave me running for the door, actually, if anything he led me to the door before I even wanted to go home. Which I guess shows that it wasn't a wonderfully magical, birds singing kind of date either.

My friends having officially decided that I am cursed or just really unlucky, because pretty much every guy I have dated since my ex has been from outside of BC. I have to admit I do love getting the FOB text messages, such as the one I received on Canada day from a french-man that said "Congratulations with Canada Day!" I don't know what it is, and I promise that I don't do it on purpose, but it just happens all the time! I've gotten to the point where I don't even get surprised when the guy says, such as in this case, that he is from Australia.

We decided to meet at the beach as there was a cute little restaurant there that if we felt like it we could stop at and get a drink or something. When I arrived, I called him to see where he was, and as he is not from Vancouver, was not at the right spot. So, being the kind person that I am, I had to walk about 20minutes to get to where he was. It was probably best that he just stayed put as he had no idea where he even was.

We started walking along the seawall which turned into walking around the ENTIRE seawall, which is about a 2 hour ~~hike of death~~ lovely walk. But it gave us something to do while getting to know one another. However, if I'd of known that this is what the plan was, I would have worn a more appropriate attire. Not only that, but it was also the windiest day you could imagine. On my way to the park, power lines had been blown out, and tree branches were flying all over the place, so being on the edge of the ocean maybe wasn't the best idea, let alone having my skirt flying up to flash everyone in sight and my hair blowing across my face making me resemble cousin it. I know your thinking my ass is probably a nice sight to see ( I don't blame you) but I assure you that covered in spanx-like skin coloured tights with a run up one cheek is not all that appealing. But I sufficed, and did it all with a smile, even through the pain of the blisters on my feet.

I shouldn't be allowed to take foreigners out in Vancouver either. I am the worst tour-guide ever, but I refuse to admit that and lie my way through every statement I make. Which turned out to maybe not be the brightest idea when I was pointing out what I named North Vancouver across the way, along with a nice story of how North Van is much more family oriented than downtown but a really beautiful place with some good shopping, and some other people walk by specifically pointing at the exact same place and referring to it as "Business-ey West Vancouver". Or the fact that I gave other tourists wrong directions when asked. You should hear some of the back stories I make up about buildings and other landmarks also. Maybe it's not as amusing to other people...

Oh and I forgot to mention, that this guy put me in the prime date slot of a Monday at 5:00pm! Can you imagine a more offensive time to be asked on a date? Not only that, but he also clearly (as I later found out) doesn't exactly have a job. So of all the free days off he has, which would be 7, I did the math. I got a Monday.

So as we are walking along, and I am doing my best to fake in his excitement over the thousands of squirrels which just so happen to be my least favorite rat-with-tail infested animal, the wind is getting stronger and Aussie-guy doesn't seem to be getting any of my hints at turning around and heading back, so we continue on in true i'm-so-not-from-here fashion. Of course we get to the part of the wall that boarders a giant hill, so the walkway is quite narrow, hill on one side, ocean on the other. The waves start getting so big that they are literally crashing over the seawall and claiming complete ownership of my entire body, swallowing me whole like a million little slaps of water in the face. Over my dress, tights, and ballerina flats which now squish every time I take a step. Perfect!

But don't worry, because if that hadn't happened, they I wouldn't have had a nice base of soaking wetness for the next 20 waves that engulfed me. Oh and guess who was walking on the outside of the wall in this scenario! :)

I felt a little like Cinderella (in a un-princesslike, un-blonde haired beauty-like, with an un-prince, kind of way) who absolutely needed to leave this situation immediately before I turned into the equivalent of a pumpkin as my hair which had been nicely straightened was quickly frizzing into it's natural hives-nest, and my false lashes glue which was now washed away, became loose and they started hanging off my face like some kind of spider desperately holding onto my real lashes and started to slip down my cheeks right behind my jet black eyeliner, and my previously figure flattering dress now sucked on for dear life right to my thighs s in its state of shock from the ice cold water.

As we neared the end of this lovely little journey, we noticed an Asian couple filming us (Asian's with camera's in Vancouver? weird). So I am sure I will be a hit on youtube any day now, probably titled "STUPID CANADIAN TACKLES WAVE, WAVE WINS".

Being as attractive as this was, he seemed to want to end the date early. He made a few comments about walking me back to my car, weird right? How could he not want to date this? *removes drenched strand of hair from face*

So naturally ~~I begged him through my black tears to take me out and did my best to convince him that I'm not usually this unattractive,~~ took his cue and went home. At 9:00.

The Gypsy Little Man

2010-07-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to be involved in this whole 'pay it forward' thing and instead of being the giver, I just got Big Gived.

So I was having a mellow, kind of down day today where I did absolutely nothing and felt bad about it. I was frustrated and overall just feeling low. I decided that to feel better I would drive down to the Stanley park and sit at the beach and people watch. I got all ready, and just as I was about to leave, realized that my mom had taken the car so basically that idea was out of the question. I hummed and hawed and basically said screw it, I'm just going to rollerblade down the street and sit at the ocean.

I put on my music and picked a bench out of the way where I sat and wrote my frustrations in my journal. After about an hour, when the sun had set and most of the people had gone home, the French guitarist who plays music on the dock, walked by and started talking to me (or so I assumed, as I had my ipod in and just saw his lips moving). As I removed my earplugs and said pardon me, he asked if I had heard him playing. I felt like a prize fool as I was clearly blocking out his music to listen to my own. But it was not my intention, honest! I told him I have heard him play many times as I live nearby.

He inquired about my journal and asked if he could see it. He explained that he had taken graphology and if I'd like, he could analyze my handwriting. I of course insisted he do so! He said that in all of his studies he had never seen or heard of anyone who wrote with the book on a 90 degree angle (which I have gotten weird looks and remarks for all my life, not to mention scolded at school). He didn't know what to make of that but as far as my actual handwriting which he complimented me on, he said that it was extremely neat and organized. He said that it shows that I am the type who is happy to go with the wind but in doing so, needs to have reference points that guide me in some sort of general direction in life. I found this all very interesting.

He dropped his things and sat down beside me for the next hour while he talked to me about quantum physics and his 'home' in the woods where he watches his big screen tv that is the sky, and how I need to strive to be a 'wizard' like neo in the matrix etc etc. He said he found me very intriguing. Apparently he could see that I have a very pure soul and that no matter what horrible things that I see in this horrible world, I manage to keep that purity and raise my soul above it. He made me promise not to lose this quality, even up until my last breath of life. I have to admit he was a fascinating man to talk to (and not just because he was telling me how wonderful he seemed to think I was) and although I didn't know what he was talking about half the time, he did seem to be quite knowledgeable and insightful. It was a kind of spiritual cleanse so to speak. He gave me some really good words of wisdom and even if it all meant nothing, it was nice just to talk to a complete stranger and learn about his truly fascinating life.

Heres a glimpse as to how the conversation went...

Man: "I think poetry is amazing"

Me: "Oh yah, so do you write poems or do you just generally like to read poetry?"

Man: "I am poetry"

Me: "Oh, okay, that's probably good too"

At the end of our spiritual conversational journey, he reached into his dirty old bag and said that he wanted to give me something. I refused persistently, to which he pointed out that the fact that I was so uncomfortable receiving a gift meant that I don't receive enough of them (hint hint to all of you reading this ;) ). He gave me two of his CD's and explained the stories behind both of them. One was very close to his heart (he said he gives all the tourists the "bubble bath CD" which is the other one). The good one, named "with the eyes of the heart" in Russian, is a collection of songs that he recorded on a 2 month Peace Corps travel to Serbia and Russia. I really did feel awful about accepting it but he explained that this was not a gift from him to me but that he fully expected that I share it and pass it on as a type of 'pay it forward'. I wanted to explain that I am supposed to be paying it forward to him but it didn't seem appropriate.

If you are at all interested in this man, check out his website http://www.tobybeaulieu.com

Our Own Pretty Way

2010-07-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

Tight and Bright Girls weekend was absolutely crazy and soooo much fun! Here I am still recovering from the lack of sleep and overdose of snack food, among other things.

It took us awhile to get our act's together the day of (being that it was the morning after the Canada Day celebrations), and the fact that we are girls who tend to pack a lot...

We pulled in to Chelsea's place where a few girls had already arrived and had clearly already started drinking as they were shouting and screaming at us off the patio. It was going to be a loooong weekend.

I'll let the photo's tell the rest of the story

Canadace wins for best outfit

My camera is filled with a million pictures like this....and worse

Cheers to Kadie who gave an emotional speech

Happy Birthday Kadie!!! xox

Alcohol may have been involved...those aren't even my shoes!

Yes, we danced on the pole, and Kadie even fell off the pole trying to dance all sexy

Start of Day 2, 10:00am

My English Husband and I

Thanks for Everything Girls!

xox

And the days blur into one

2010-07-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

I hate to say that I've become one of those people who becomes entrenched in school but when it comes to keeping up with my blog it seems to be that way. But don't worry, I've managed to neglect it enough to continue having at least a little bit of a life.

I climbed to the top of a mountain without dying. It was a rainy day so the whole hike was muddy. The thought had gone through my head that at least with the rain no one could tell I was crying with pain, but when I got to the top and looked in a mirror, apparently that didn't work because I had mascara lines running down my entire face.

I went out with some girls from nursing class and danced the night away. We got approached by one guy in particular who's idea of hitting on us was asking our opinion as to whether one should floss before or after brushing their teeth. We all decided on after, but he disagreed. He then went on to analyze our smiles, apparently mine is not as friendly or inviting as Brittany's but he could tell that I am 'the dominator' of our relationship. He wasn't even a dentist.
Is this the new pick up line?

The next night, I went crazy attempting to write a paper and when I finally gave up at about 930pm, I threw on some clothes, and went to the beach where a few friends had been hanging out. They said that they texted me because they knew out of anyone I was the only one random enough to actually come out. I don't know why I have this persona of being such a random person. And I haven't decided if this is good or bad.

I've decided that sitting next to a campfire on the beach with friends til early morning is one of my favorite things. I even enjoyed the random hippy drifters that would join our circle. At one point I was sure we were about to burst into spontaneous kumbayya. Actually, I was a little disappointed that we didn't. Instead the guy just destroyed our fire, jumped up and ran straight into the ocean.

I also learned that apparently 2nd beach is not 3rd beach.

On Tuesday, the day I had planned to go home from school and write my essay, I got a text from Alicia saying that she won tickets to a concert at the commodore and invited me to be her date.

I asked if that required me to put out.

She said no.

It has really been paying off for me lately to have a friend who is some kind of Twitter Celebrity! She seems to get quite a bit of free stuff and somehow I am lucky enough to reap the benefits. The tickets were for "The Heavy" with The Slew and Kid Koala. I admit that I had never heard of any of them, but The Heavy were really good! It's great hang out music, and I love concerts where the entire audience is full-out dancing!

And today is C ey N ey D ey Day! Unfortunately I don't own much red but I promise to eat some maple syrup and ride a mountie. I mean, a moose... I am Canadian! :)
And in true Canadian style, it's cold and rainy outside. But I'm still going to head downtown to join in the festivities and watch a friend in the parade. Oh and fireworks!

And tomorrow I am going to Whistler for Kadie's birthday. 16 girls in a huge cabin for the long weekend, and the theme is TIGHT AND BRIGHT. I've already given a friend the heads up that they may be receiving my "one call". YEEOOW!

Young Hearts Be Free Tonight

2010-06-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I met a boy.

It was not exactly a fairytale story...instead let's just say that alcohol and a dance club were involved. And while my friend Kadie was playing the tambourine up on stage with the band, I was being reminded what it felt like to press my body up against a boy and feel the flutter of my heart going.

After a few hours of dancing together, he took my phone and entered his number into it which he later used to text me sweet incoherent text messages. Note that the incoherence was less due to the alcohol and more so do to the fact that he has just come to Canada from Switzerland.

I know how to pick them, huh.

On Sunday, I was on my way to meet Alicia and Adam at Kits beach, but realized a little too late that I had no idea how to get their, and ended up at 2nd beach instead. I decided that I would just stay there as I had my journal to keep me busy.

As I was relaxing on the bench, BOY texted me, asking what I was up to. It turned out that he too was at the beach and wanted to meet up. Although I was hardly 'date prepared', I agreed. Actually, Alicia told me that I am the one who has this whole "say yes" thing going so how dare I say no.

After finally making him understand exactly where on the beach I was, I watched the many bridal photoshoots happening around me and waited for him to show up.

I glanced over, and not remembering 100% exactly what he looked like, I was fairly sure I saw him, but who was he with?

He walked over, with a 65ish year old man wearing a bright yellow suit jacket, crooners hat, and hipster glasses (the man, not him). I smiled politely and the eccentric man said "Oh! You told me you were coming to meet a pretty girl, and this one just smiled at us so I think we've found her!".

I, still being in shock and confusion, just kept smiling.

Before BOY even had a chance to say hello, the man was chatting me up a mile a minute, introducing himself, and telling BOY that he'd better treat me right. Then without pausing, he said goodbye and skipped off.

BOY just started laughing.

He explained that as he was walking over, this man came up to him and starting hitting on him. He was somewhat unsure of what exactly to say or do, but I think a little flattered at the same time as he had never been hit on by a gay man before.

I told him that I had thought their was a chance he might not be alone because he had mentioned earlier that he was with friends, but that is definitely not what I had in mind.

So that was the start of my date with the foreign speaking BOY.

We walked along the ocean side before it started getting too cold, and then he took me to a movie. It was nice that we at least got to talk for a bit before the movie and I actually enjoyed his company more than I was expecting too. Considering his English is less than perfect, he was very charming and funny (or maybe he is charming and funny BECAUSE I can't understand half of what he says). We saw the A-Team, and after that was over he snuck us into the last 40minutes of Sex and the City as it was the only thing still playing at that time.

I don't know why I always seem to get taken on high-school dates, but I kind of enjoy it. Sneaking into to the movie theater and making out in the back row is actually pretty fun.

After the movie, he was pretty insistent on me going back to his place, and although I was tempted, I held my ground and went home alone. As much as he was not impressed with this, I think he kind of liked the idea that maybe I'm actually not thaaaaat easy. After all, he has been texting me quite a bit, and perhaps it's just to update me on the score of the Spain vs Switerland game, which I pretended to watch, but still!

Date 1, success!

The Big Give!

2010-06-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

So if you have not yet heard about The Big Give, its far time you learn about it, held it's hand, and squeezed the love out of it.

So what exactly is it, you ask? Well, it is the internet's first ever random acts of kindness contest! The idea was started by some of the most amazing girls (fellow bloggers of course), who are all a perfect fit for putting together such a contest!

I recommend that you all wander over to their site and see what it's all about, get inspired and participate! If not for the whole *being a good person* thing, then at least for the awesome prizes!

And if you run over there now you may just see a familiar face on the first page ;)

Check it all out here: http://goaheadmaketheirday.blogspot.com

It's Like a Tupperware Party For Whores!

2010-06-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

Awhile back I was invited to a schoolmates wedding. I was super excited and flattered to have gotten one of the few invites because we haven't had class together for awhile so when I did of course I said I would attend! Last week I got an email from the bride-to-be's sister saying that Rebecca refused to have a bachelorette party because she did not want people to feel pressured to buy her gifts. So instead, her sister planned a surprise party for her, which would be a "passion party". Which to those of you who are nieve like me, means a sex toy party. Basically a Tupperware party where they sell sex toys instead of bowls.

I have never been to a sex toy party period, but having one be a surprise just does not sound like a good idea to me. The look on the brides face as she walked in to a table full of dildo's pretty much said it all. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the best part, the bride is a virgin.

There were a ton of girls and it was actually quite fun. We all had our arms covered in edible creams and tingly spray on our lips, and vibrating massager's on our hands. The bride even got forced into trying one of the "gets you in the mood" creams which she walked out of the bathroom having applied it with blushing cheeks and a huge grin on her face.

We played a game where the host asked a bunch of *have you ever* sex related questions where you gave yourself points if your answer was yes. I started to worry for a second in the beginning when the virgin bride had more points than me...But to be fair, you got points for silly things like having a tattoo... Or at least this is my excuse for seeming less prude-like. Which I am clearly not... I mean, I did it on a sofa once...haha just kidding, that would be crazy!

My other friend was shocked by my seemingly low score. She said something to the effect of "oh my gosh, you only got 5?!? I totally thought that you were like some sexually adventurous/promiscuous girl...Like no offense, but I really thought you would have had like at least 10 points"

I was quite intrigued to find out that people naturally assume that I am a slut. I'm not sure what it is that I'm doing that gives this impression...But the joke is clearly on them because little do they know, I'm not having ANY sex, with anyone, at all. so HA.

(on second thought, the slut assumption might have something to do with my instant reaction to put the dildo in my mouth). Black and white for classiness.

Probably my favorite of the many jokes happening all night was unintentionally from Kiera. The host was showing us another one of the products which were marble-like beads that girls can put into themselves and I think you play chinese checkers inside your bajingo or something, I don't really remember the point of them but anyways, she made a point of saying that girls sometimes worry that the balls will get stuck (hehehe), but not worry because "it's like a cul-de-sac in there, and they will always find their way out". I turned to Kiera and in reference to these whole bead idea said "wow, I have never even heard of that before" and her response was "you've never heard of a cul-de-sac?"

Oh how I love you.

If I haven't lost you yet, I won't go into too much detail and I am sure many of you have been to sex parties before anyways so this is all nothing new, but as a sex-toy virgin I have to admit that some of those things are just plain scary looking. I don't really think I need a dildo called *jelly osaki*, described as having a "beaver tongue" and contains more buttons on it than my cellphone. One of which makes it do backflips/the YMCA and I have a feeling another speaks to you in spanish and cooks you breakfast.

I think my expression of the night was a mix of intriguement, confusion, and wide eyed terror.

It also doesn't help that with almost every item we were shown I got instant visualization of some patient I have had in the emergency room with said item physically stuck inside dark places and or completely swallowed and the look on their face when being taken in for surgery. Trust me, that kind of ruins the whole appeal of it all.

But it was definitely a fun night!

(and to my friends who read this, please don't ever plan me a surprise sex toy party. thank you)

Dust Bowl Dance

2010-06-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was full of different activities which was taken up mostly by different get togethers with family for my brothers 19th birthday. This included, 2 dinners, 1 lunch, bowling, a picnic and a LOT of dessert.
(If you are Canadian, this picture is kind of a big deal. The man in the cowboy hat is Mantracker, and he basically does just that. It is my brothers goal to go on his show, beat Mantracker, and leave the signed autograph he gave him at the finish line.)

On Sunday I went to a festival downtown to celebrate Italian Days, which I of course took my Italian Grandmother too who was in her glory. She just wanted a meatball (and as you read that please do the italian hand gesture and pronounce it meat-a-ball). Festivals on Commercial Drive are always a ton of fun, but it just so happened to be absolutely down pouring that day. After about an hour of the rainstorm I completely gave up my polka-dot umbrella and joined in the street dancing/puddle jumping.

From there I went to a friends birthday/going away party/graduation celebration which was super fun but also sad to say goodbye to her for 4 months. We played Pictionary which I admit that I am usually pretty amazing at but that went out the window when I picked the word JELL-O and had to draw it with my EYES CLOSED. Needless to say it did not go well.

I've gone to a few concerts which have all been awesome! My favorite being a secret show put on by Mumford and Sons where the time and location were not given. The radio gave out clues to the location up until an hour ahead of time in which they told to where to go. I was sure that my detective skills were top notch until I showed up to an insane crowd of people. But that made for a really good atmosphere. Bands should do more shows like this. Did I mention it was free?

That's all for now!
xox

Bienvenue à Montréal

2010-05-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

rom the airport we drove back to his apartment because he rented me the guest suite in his building where I could drop my bags off and then he gave me a quick tour of the place. He lives in an exclusive apartment building which is on a completely private street, 1 block from the touristy Old Port. Flats in the building are extremely difficult to get and obviously ridiculously expensive. Apparently a bunch of the Montreal Canadian’s hockey team players live in the building which also makes it that much more desirable (to some). Driving into the underground parking lot was like going into Jay Leno’s garage, and if I knew anything about cars I would name some but to me I just saw dollar sign after dollar sign next to double dollar signs on wheels.

The entrance to the apartment was stunning; a gigantic foyer with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the gorgeous blue river. There were glass staircases on both sides, with a posh lounge area which was obviously just for looks. The building had its own wine cellar just for the tenants, a full sized crystal blue pool complete with water fountains and a stone cave sauna, pool table room, social room, and a completely private walk out patio just inches from the water and equipped with barbeques and lawn chairs for enjoying the sunshine (because unlike the cold miserable rainy weather we have in Vancouver, it was over 30 degrees in Montreal).

My suite was obviously gorgeous. I felt like I couldn’t touch anything but at the same time I had this strong desire to touch everything! I would wake up each morning and open my French doors out to my private patio and sit and enjoy the view and sunshine. Yachts sailing by, tourists taking pictures from across the water, me trying my best to fit in (in spite of my thrifted clothes and 2 for 20$ sunglasses). It was at this moment I felt exactly like a housewife of orange country, only from Montreal.

I totally felt like I did not belong amongst all these rich French people. Even more so when they actually tried speaking to me in French and all I could do was look stupid and say Sorry, no French! With one man in particular, it probably would have been better if I didn’t understand him, because it turns out he was asking if it was my suite he was sun tanning in front of, and when I said yes, but that I was just visiting, he said “oh okay, I felt kind of creepy because I keep staring into your bedroom”.

From then on I kept the blinds closed.

Anyways, that night we walked through Old Port which was my favorite! It’s all old cobblestone streets with little café’s and vendors etc. I couldn’t believe how many people were out in the village square watching street performers, and sitting out having drinks, etc. It reminded me so much of Europe.

After showing me around he took me to some famous little bakery that sold “queues de castor” which are basically pastries made of heaven and sprinkled with cinnamon/sugar. Mmmmmm. This was not a diet weekend.

Being that it had been a long day for me, I wasn’t up for hitting the famous Montreal club scene just yet, so we just went back to his apartment and watched a movie. I know what you’re thinking. we JUST watched a movie people, no funny business!

The next morning he had planned to take me to Mont Tremblant which is a quaint little skiing village in the mountains about 2 hours outside of Montreal (although much less when you’re driving what felt like the speed of light). I absolutely fell in love with this little village. It is the cutest place I have ever seen; if it had cheeks I would have pinched them. There was a ton of tourists, a live band, little cafes and shops all over, and a bicycle race going on through the town center which we had to stop and wait for before we could cross.

I will definitely return to Mont Tremblant one day!

On the way back he drove me all through Montreal, including to the top of a prestigious area called Westmount where I saw some stunning homes and an even better view! We also went through downtown and the Latin quarters etc. It was all so lovely! It’s weird that this place is part of Canada, it seems so different!

After we went back and dropped off the car, we walked to Old Port where he INSISTED, against my protest to get a horse drawn carriage to dinner. I was mortified! I am someone who really doesn’t find them all that romantic and think that they are a terrible idea! Not only do you have people pointing at you and you are made a complete spectacle of, but you also stop traffic because you are riding a fricken monster that doesn’t make the sharpest of turns, not to mention it takes years to get where you are going.

For dinner we went to a nice Italian restaurant and after that went to a fancy club. The nightlife in Montreal is a million times better than it is in Vancouver, it would be a great place to do a girls weekend! It was so much fun!!

The next morning he took me Downtown because he was insistent that I not leave Montreal without going to Schwartz’s restaurant. This tiny little deli is apparently world famous and a landmark in Montreal, which wasn’t hard to believe with the 3 block line up to get in. I was told that the only thing to get at this place is a smoked meat sandwich with a giant pickle on the side and completed with a cherry cola. For someone who is mostly vegetarian, I have to admit that it was delicious.

We picked up some extras to take over to one of his friend’s who had been in a car accident the night before. I was super nervous to meet his friend and didn’t really know what to expect but luckily she was really sweet and being a nurse, I had lots to talk to her about.

From there we went to Cirque du Soleil which I had been looking forward to the entire weekend! I had always wanted to see one of their shows and being that cirque du soleil was started in Montreal, it was a must! It was everything I had always heard it was and more! I am still in shock of some of the things that they can do. I can’t even imagine the training that goes into putting something like that together. Oh and it didn’t hurt my overall opinion being in the best seats one can get, and having some free wine and appy’s from the VIP tent probably helped too. Oh the life of a desperate housewife, it’s a hard one.

After the circus we went out for more drinks and dinner. We picked up some Pho, a type of Vietnamese soup (which I had never had or even heard of before but was his absolute favorite) to take back with us. He knew the owner really well, as he obviously ate at this place a lot so he just had to text in his order and tell them when we would be there. The owner saved us a parking spot out front, came out to give us our food, and we never had to pay a cent. Why is it that rich people get everything for free?

Since my flight left at 6am (as oppose to 6pm which we originally thought), we decided to go home and watch a movie while eating our Pho before heading to the airport at 4am. The soup was soooooooooo yummy!!! I hope that this place wasn’t like remarkably above average so I can still enjoy it back in Vancouver.

And that was pretty much the end of my trip! He took me back to the airport and we said goodbye and I was off! It wasn’t an awkward goodbye either, which was good, it was just a casual hug and au-revoir Montreal!

I officially made it through the weekend without being kidnapped or raped. Win! Actually aside from still talking a lot about money he was quite a gentleman throughout the weekend.

When I returned, a girl in my class’s reaction was “OMG. The LEAST you could have done was given him a blowjob!!!”

I most certainly disagree!

So overall I am glad I went and I really did have a good time (aside from working myself up everyday worrying about maybe feeling pressure to have sex). As fun as it was, one weekend of living this extravagant lifestyle was enough for me. Actually, I thought that I would enjoy all of the luxuries a lot more than I did in the end. It was really weird and felt almost guilty and so much of it just seemed so unnecessary. I mean, I definitely liked the freedom that came with not having to ever think about money and being able to do anything you want but at the same time it just didn’t feel right.

So that was it! I still don’t have a strong desire to be romantically involved with him but it was a really fun weekend and he made good company. I am pretty sure that he thinks he likes me more than I him but at the same time I think he is just lonely in his life and likes the companionship more than anything.

C'est la vie

Fly Me to The Moon or Montreal

2010-05-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Remember Moneybags? Well apparently his part in this story of mine hadn't ended just yet.

I don't think that I ever mentioned that he actually lives in Montreal, so after we went on our date about a month or so ago, he left Vancouver to go back home which was nice for me because it meant there was no pressure to decide how I felt or what I should do next. Since then, we have continued to text a little bit here and there and have kept in touch by doing so.

It has always simply been friendly chatter, never anything too serious (and remember at this point I was still not really feeling him THAT much in a romantic sense but I did appreciate his friendship as we got along quite well). He had mentioned a few times over the past month or so that he wanted to get together and suggested that I come to Montreal. At first I would just blow the idea off or casually say something like "yah, it would be cool to visit Montreal, or, that would be fun", etc. But he started getting more and more serious about it so I had to actually explain that I have a life here and am a full time student so aside from the no time, I also have no money for random spontaneous trips across the country (again at this point, really not taking it too seriously).

After talking about it back and forth for days, being extremely hesitant and reluctant to agree to anything, I brought up the whole awkwardness of our situation and not knowing him that well and the pressure that comes with taking a trip to see him etc etc etc (I literally went on and on for days about all my insecurities about going, I am surprised he didn't retract his invitation). He told me that if absolutely nothing else it would be a good story for me to tell me friends. I agreed that this was true but that didn't change my financial circumstances.

And, well, I wouldn't call him Mr. Moneybags if I didn't mean it... He bought me a trip to Montreal.

I was so stressed/feeling uneasy about what to say/do/feel that I could not bring myself to actually agree to go so my friend literally took the phone from my hand and confirmed on my behalf.

So that was it, I had the ticket, which I might add, read *Sister Brandi* as in a nun, as he thought this would be amusing.

I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with the idea, and it kind of made me feel a little pretty womanish. He replied by saying "well...I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, and I'm fairly certain your not a prostitute, so stop over-thinking it and come have a good time"

I promise you that this sort of thing does not happen to me. It was all so bizarre. I literally wanted to throw up just thinking about it. I really do believe in a girl paying her own way for stuff like this so it was definitely against all my beliefs. The fact that this guy I'd been out with twice was going to spend more money on me in a weekend than my ex did in the 5 years we went out was absurd.

Having said that, I have promised myself to be a *yes* person which means that I force myself to be totally open to all opportunities presented to me, and this was quite the opportunity. When would I ever get the chance to just pick up and go to Montreal for a weekend?

And as if making the decision to go wasn't stressful enough, try then having to explain to your mom that you’re leaving in a day and a half to go to Montreal because some guy you went on a date with some time just bought you a ticket. Not fun.

But anyways, that was it, Friday came and I was off!

I really love plane rides so the flight was good except for the fact that I was worried about what to expect, and still feeling a little weird about the whole situation. Was I really on a plane to go spend a weekend in Montreal with some rich guy I don’t even know all that well?

Answer: YES

I arrived at the airport to find him waiting to pick me up in classic Moneybags style. Complete with Bentley.

Possibly the most spontaneous and out of character weekend of my life had officially begun.

Remember the days when 'Mew' was a kind of Pokemon

2010-05-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

So I have been completely behind with blogging lately (as you have obviously noticed because you read my blog religiously and anxiously run to your computer and click your *favorites* tab every morning in eager anticipation of a new post) but I will explain!

First of all, I am back in school, yes summer semester. In fact, I officially have no time off until graduation which is both exciting and depressing at the same time. Not only that but this is apparently the hardest semester of all 4 years of nursing school with the highest fail rate. I can barely contain my enthusiasm for school.

It makes me feel better that everyone in my class is equally as lost as I am, which is proven by the girl in my class' response when the teacher asked if anyone knew what seminal research was and she replied by saying "would it be like the study of semen?"

Or when the teacher went on for hours confusing us further with every passing word and another girl in the class asked for clarification giving the example, "so can you explain, like say if you were comparing the consumption of milk took in by ovulating cats to non-ovulating cats...". The weird thing was, the teacher actually used her example and thoroughly explained it.

And just at the point where our heads are about to explode, she says "okay, now this is where it starts to get confusing". I think we all lost it at that point. I swear nursing school has made me mad. I find myself laughing randomly for no reason in class, and scribbling pictures of interesting methods of suicide.

We've discovered a fun thing to pass time is an application that takes faces and does this

And you never know what might be sitting on your desk when you come back from break...such as this:

The other day we learnt about 'MEW' which was paired with what looked like some asian symbols, a mash of random letters then thrown into a blender with some numbers. Which I later had a note on my facebook saying:

"Didn't you know that h equals squiggle greater then squiggle(mew/charmander)G1 with a line and a 2"

Because this is my LAST EVER (assuming I pass) academic semester of nursing school, I really am trying to make the most of it and enjoy being a student because I know I will miss it when I am done. And I truly have the best classmates ever whom I don't think I could make it through without. Although I am getting a little sick of being in a class with 60 girls and 4 guys 5 days a week. Which could also be contributing to the madness.

AND I got lucky and was placed in the neonatal intensive care unit/pediatric unit for the semester which means I get to look at little babies all day :), so its not all bad!!!

So if you are questioning my sanity now, just wait a few weeks! I promise it gets better!

Sun Run 2010

2010-05-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

Every year Vancouver puts on a 10km run for charity called the Sun Run. Over the years it has grown into a HUGE event and they raise a ton of money for different charities. Last year was my first time to participate as I am not much of a runner and never thought I could actually run for 10km but in the end I made it and had so much fun doing it that I signed myself up again this year.

Its great because there are so many people not only doing the race, but also along the sidelines cheering everyone on, as well as bands and performers all pumping you up to run harder and faster.

This year there were over 50 000 people in the race! They close down most of the city just to be able to have all the streets completely open to the runners. They obviously have to stagger start times just because of the overwhelming amount of people. And even so, you are practically weaving in and out of people the entire time.

Luckily it was sunny out but at the same time it got a little too hot. I wanted to ~~die~~ jump in the ocean after 2km.

I did the run in just over an hour which isn't terrific but I was just happy to pass the finish line!!

At the end of the race there's another big celebration for all the runners with free giveaways and snacks.

After being exhausted from just finishing the race, I immediately wanted something to drink and it just so happened that there was a volunteer standing in front of me handing out red-bull. I assumed that it was just tiny cans of normal red-bull so I drank 3 thinking that it still wouldn't equal a full sized can but then realized that they were actually condensed energy shots (which for someone who doesn't even drink coffee and just finished running 10km was probably quite a shock to my body).

They were giving away a bunch of free stuff, and I LOVE free stuff. I waited in this one line and got a huge bottle of protein powder, and no I don't use the stuff, but it was FREE!

After hanging out for a bit and meeting up with friends, I headed home as it was mother's day and all.
When I got back home and buzzed up to my apartment. No one picked up.

This was not good considering that I didn't bring my keys or even my wallet with me because I didn't want to have to hold on to anything during the run.

I called my mom so see where she was (well yeah, I brought my phone, but thats different...) only to find out that she was about 30mins away at my grandma's for mothers day.

All I wanted to do was whine and make her come home and let me in so I could eat everything in sight and then pass out, but it was Mother's day.

I took my gigantic tub of protein powder and ran over to the park. At this point I look like a complete mess, bangs all over the place, sweaty, most likely smelly, and my body aching and crippled. Combine that with the nervous shake and odd twitch of my face from the overdose of red-bull and stomach filled with nothing but a half of a banana and some warm chocolate milk from the race and I was quite the spectacle, I'm sure.

I found the only empty bench which was pretty much in the middle of the whole park and fell asleep, with my arm awkwardly cradling my jug of protein powder.

3.5 hours later my mom came home.

By that point I was pretty much hallucinating.

When Twenty Met...a bigger number

2010-05-10T00:51:00.000-07:00

That's right! It was my BIRTHDAY on Friday!
I had a bit of mixed feelings about it because I was super excited to celebrate but at the same time the actual aging part of it really scares me. I hate getting older when I'm single.

At least I have the best friends ever to make me forget! And on top of that, they are creative/artistic too!

Jana bought me this key necklace because she remembered me telling her that I love key necklaces and not only that but she actually bought a real vintage key and put it on a chain so it's kinda neat to think that this little key actually opened something of some importance at one time. Either that or like a gate.

And among a few other things, my mother got me this picture of my grandmother and I blown up and framed because its one of my favorites. Don't mind my bottom.

And Alicia knowing me all too well gave me some hair bows! I've pretty much got all the colors of the rainbow now :). And before we went out I got to stop by her new place which is super cute and central to everything so I plan on spending a lot of time there!

For my little get together I picked the Lamplighter because its super fun! It has a good crowd (including, as my friends would all roll their eyes at and continue to call me crazy, just my type of guys), it has good music and you can either dress up or down so its perfect for everyone! Unfortunately there was a hockey game on (I think that just by typing that automatically bans me from being Canadian). Apparently this whole 'hockey trend' is still popular over here and there just so happened to be a game the night of my birthday and tried to ruin my plans, but luckily it wasn't too crazy.

I was really happy that so many people came out! And a few who I didn't expect to see which made me feel very special! The night was a blast! Friends + Dancing + Shots = me happy (proven formula almost evertime). I love bringing friends together too, I had some from nursing school, some from high-school, some from work etc. etc. It's neat cause I always talk about them to each other but now they finally have a face to put to a name.

I was worried that I would get too drunk as people usually do on their birthdays because of all the free alcohol being thrown in your face and the yelling of SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! not to mention the need to try and block the thought of being old etc. but I really didn't want to be "that girl". As in, the one lying in a pool of vomit in the bathroom crying and desperately asking if I still look pretty.

However, I managed to get the perfect level of happy-fun-drunk for the majority of the night. Actually on the train home it felt weird to be overly coherent and almost completely aware of what was happening around me.

And what night is complete without a random bus-stop story.
At the bus stop on my way home a guy came and sat beside me and started chatting me up which I had no problem with but my bus pulled in so I said I had to go and his face dropped, but I just laughed and got on the bus, not thinking twice about it.

Next thing I knew, the people on the bus were all looking out the window and I could hear what I found out to be the guy yelling "JULIETTE JULIETTE!" and running alongside the bus!!! I was so caught off guard and shocked I didn't even know how to react. I really wanted to take a picture (the true blogger in me) but the looks of the people on the bus were already enough. I can honestly say I've never had a strange guy (or I guess ANY guy) chase down a bus after me.

Overall it was a wonderful day!
Thank you for all the birthday wishes!! It made me feel very humbled!
xox

Somewhere Beyond the Sea

2010-05-09T23:51:00.000-07:00

If you haven't yet noticed my trend, I tend to like to go walking along the sea an awful lot. Usually by myself. And, well, this week was no exception!!

(I love tulips! sooo pretty!)

Since it's getting closer to summer, and it certainly seemed like summer based on the beautiful weather, all of the hustle bustle and entertainment flocked to the seawall for people like me to enjoy! (On second thought, its actually all for tourists which is not me at all...but I still like to enjoy it anyways!)

As much as I am anxious to leave Vancouver (at least for a little while) I can't help but appreciate how lucky I am in to live in such a picturesque city. And trust me, my photography skills don't do it justice!

I took some pictures of a few of the random but never the less appreciated "attractions" I saw on my walk.

This is 'Spandy Andy'

He is well known in Vancouver for dancing to electronica music and being...well...spandy andy. This time he got a little kid to join in and the two of them put on quite the show!

One of the many bands along the water

A Harp! How perfect.

A real live roller derby game!! Omg are they ever intense! What a crazy game!

Of course there are many vendors trying to sell stuff along the water. These paintings were gorgeous

A little kid on a unicycle. Clearly I wasn't as stealth in my picture taking as I thought I was being as he is looking directly at me.

A little taste of my city! Perhaps seen through rose colored glasses...

I Need a Touch Up

2010-05-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

Pretty much anytime of any day is crazy in the emergency room, but Friday night was particularly bad. I guess it probably had to do with the rainstorm or maybe it was a full moon or something but the trauma’s were coming in non-stop. As morbid as it makes me sound, as a student it’s all really exciting and I love to pop into the trauma room and get up close and center into all the action. That is of course until people don’t realize that I’m still a student and start asking me to do things.

Because the trauma room was so full, we had no choice but to put some of the people who probably should have been in there out in the normal emergency room where the nurses like me get to take care of them! I got a patient who was just in a bad high speed car accident and had several injuries. Let’s just say that this guy was not a saint and was fairly well known to police. At the accident, he ditched the scene and managed to run about a kilometer from the accident and into a bush. Then, when he heard the police dogs coming he actually climbed up a tree, where he stayed until he was eventually taken in. And this all happened after his car was T-boned about 10inches into the driver side of the car, he was projected through the window of his car, covered in glass shards, very possibly had broken bones, and had gashes so bad that I could see his bones. It made for some good conversation to say the least.

Considering all that had happened, he was actually fairly content. When I was causing him anguishing pain by cleaning up his bloody wounds, he actually said it wasn’t nearly as bad as the times he was shot. Yes he was shot, and yes on more than one occasion. But he said that he deserved everything that happened/was going to happen.

While fixing him up, I took a picture of his thrashed arm/ribs and showed it to him, obviously suggesting this be his new profile picture.

As he had to have policemen at his side at all times, I got talking to them and being about 4 in the morning what better to talk about than video games. So we were comparing all the games we used to play as kids etc. when my patient jumps in and says that the best game ever is Grand Theft Auto. Obviously.

At least he had a sense of humor about it all.

After I got off nightshift at 730am, I managed to sleep for 2 hours before having to wake up and go to Marlee’s hair show. As I got there she was just finishing Danielle’s hair which looked absolutely ridiculously amazing! She made this gigantic sculpture out of her head and it looked crazy good.

Because I was Aphrodite, she styled mine a lot more delicately, and made it very soft and pretty. When she was finished, I went over to the makeup girls and got pampered some more. It was so much fun! There were models all over the place and everyone was getting all done up. Some of the costumes were so cool! I wish I was more artsy like that. There was one girl who was completely naked in the middle of the room getting full body painted. It was crazy! I could never be that brave!

The actual show itself was super fun, we got to walk a little runway in front of all the guests and the judges while Marlee presented us and there was cake and appy’s to celebrate afterwards. I’m so glad I got to be a part of it!

Because this was her class’s final day of school, they obviously wanted to celebrate so everyone went out after and it was a wonderful night! Aside from sleeping only 2 hours out of the last 40.

..did I really just go from talking about bloody bone-exposing wounds to hair and makeup shows? I should work on my transitions.

My New Do!

2010-04-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was asked by my friend Marlee if I would be her model for her final show in hairdressing school. Knowing that she is an amazing hairdresser I jumped at the opportunity!

I have never ever (yes never) dyed my hair before so I was really excited to see what she was going to do. I left it completely up to her to do anything she wanted (and I meant it!). I've never really had a reason not to dye my hair I just never did so I think it was about time.

Apparently this was a big deal, Marlee showed off my "virgin baby hair" to the other girls.

We looked through magazines etc.and Marlee pointed to a picture and said, I think we should do this! And with a little hesitation I said ~~ARE YOU CRAZY!!~~ okay! lets do it!

She is seriously like Sweeney Todd except that instead of killing people she makes them look wonderful! So I guess not really like Sweeney Todd at all... except for the hairdressing part. (to be honest I've never even seen Sweeney Todd so i'm not even sure that he is in fact a hairdresser) but they are both good looking people! (well the johnny depp version is at least)

Here is before....

And here is the result!!!

(in better light it is actually quite red and underneath are blonde highlights which look wonderful)

And next weekend is her actual show where the theme is Greek goddess's and I am going to be Aphrodite so Marlee will style my hair, and another student from the school will do my makeup etc. and it will be great fun!!!! I can't wait!

Thanks again Marlee!!!
xox

And thanks to Bobby for sending me this :D

Me in Three's

2010-04-25T16:57:00.000-07:00

It was perfect timing for Tom to tag me for this little thing because I was pondering what to blog about. So here is a little bit about me!

"Me in 3s."

Three names I go by:

1. B

2. Whiskey, as my name is Brandi, people seem to think this is clever

3. Kise or Kay, because no one actually knows how to pronounce my blog name

Three jobs I've had:

1. An Au Pair, where I looked after 4 adorable children all under the age of 6

2. An extra in films/tv shows

3. Currently work as an employed student nurse in the emergency room

Three places I have lived:

1. Fantasy land – Where I’ve spent most of my life

2. Bristol, England – While Au Pairing

3. Port Moody, BC – Current location. Stalkers encouraged.

Three fave drinks:

1. That banana medicine you get as a kid

2. Fruit Smoothies

3. Happy Planet J

Three TV shows I watch:

1. Peep Show

2. Modern Family

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm

Three places I've been:

1. Alaska, took a cruise to all the different towns and saw the glaciers

2. Maui, Hawaii, basked in the sun.

3. Florac, France. A quaint, pleasant little town in the south of France with less than 2000 people

Three places I would like to visit:

1. India

2. Africa

3. Real life. Or middle earth… Yah, middle earth.

Three favorite retro TV shows:

1. Little House on the Prairie

2. Walker texas ranger

3. The Jetsons

Three favorite dishes:

1. pasta

2. stuffed Peppers

3. teacups and saucers

Three things I'm looking forward to:

1. Graduation from nursing school!!!!

2. The day cape’s are in style

3. falling in love

Three people I'm tagging:

Bobby

Risha

Mishieru

An Aston What?

2010-04-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

Its been a good week, starting with working my last shift of home health nursing which is where I go visit people in their homes who are dying and needless to say is not my favorite type of nursing, but a good experience. Then Alicia came over and we spent about 3 hours exchanging music with one another which I am super excited about listening to. I met up with an old friend from high school who I haven't seen since and that was a lot of fun because we used to get along really well back in the day so it was neat to catch up.

Last night I went on a date with a gentleman that we will refer to as Moneybags. He picked me up at my place (which I like when a guy does but did feel bad because I am a little out of the way). I came outside to see him in his super sexy car which I was informed was an Aston Martin (and apparently a big deal). Which was amazing except for the fact that I don't often ride in *i don't even have a clue as to a guess how much this car would be worth* kind of cars so I literally had to get him to talk me through opening the door. What kind of car doesn't have door handles!

(I snagged this photo from his FB just for you bobby/shinxy, apparently its an Aston Martin Vantage Volante)

Now even though I really don't care about nice cars, I have to admit that cruising down the highway in this car with the top down going reeeeeeeeally reeeeeeeeeally fast was pretty fun.

He took me downtown to one of his favorite places which was a very posh lounge that we sat at and had a drink and chatted. Although I did not appreciate his constant talk about all of his accomplishments and money, he was actually a really interesting guy. He started talking about how he is having a quarterlife crisis because he is only 26 and he has already achieved/done everything he could have ever wanted in excess and feels like there is nothing left for him to do. It was very intriguing for me to hear a 26 year old multimillionaire talk about being so unsatisfied with his life but in a way it made a lot of sense. Which is why I stick to the belief that money does not bring happiness!

PS he bought his CAT an ipad. Nobody needs that much money. And don't ask me what he does because I have no idea. He explained it to me but it was a bunch of business mumbo jumbo that I just nodded and pretended to understand.

From here we went to a comedy club which his hotel was right beside so he wanted to park there and as we walked through the hotel it was completely crazy because all of the staff greeted him by name and would have literally done absolutely anything for him. It was like he was a celebrity. It was a very strange feeling.

The comedy club was super fun and in my opinion a fantastic date idea! After that he wanted to take to me to an arcade but unfortunately it was closed when we got there. We went to another lounge and chatted some more and then we headed back. He dropped me off at home and we said goodbye, and he leaned over and gave me a kiss on both cheeks. He asked me out again but I haven't decided yet.

It was definitely fun but I just don't know about Moneybags and his numerous bags of Money.

Rabbit Hearted Girl

2010-04-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to talk about anything without first starting out by telling you that I am in love.

I didn't think I could feel this way about someone, but it has happened.
Her name is Florence Welsh.

I was one of the lucky few who saw the most amazing performance of an artist ever last night at the Commodore when Florence and the Machine performed. I am still in shock at just how cussing unbelievable the whole show was! I've never seen a single artist be able to command the stage so strongly as she was able to do, with her fiery red hair, super high heels that she took off 2 songs in and Egyptian headpiece she is a new kind of cool that I didn't know was possible to be contained in one tiny little body. I almost couldn't even handle her coolness when she dove off the stage into the crowd only feet away from me.
I've converted to the religion of Florence.

Aside from that

For nursing school I work out of an office in Riverview which is a well known mental health hospital (aka where they keep the craziest of the crazies). But luckily our office is just on the grounds, its a separate building . The whole place has been used countless times for horror movies because its just the most creepiest place you could imagine. The whole thing is kind of off in the woods and it was all built in the 30's, cement walls, bars on all the windows, etc.

So today one of the nurses was telling us that she worked a night shift the other night and as she was sitting in the office with another nurse, she sees a tall man dressed in black walk by.
She didn't think too much of it at first, other than that's weird, I guess it must be Cindy (the other nurse), so she goes over to her office only to see all the lights off and no one in sight. It dawns on her that in fact she has just seen a ghost. She went to the other nurse to make sure she hadn't completely lost her mind and the only thing the other nurse said was "yes I saw it. I don't want to talk about. please don't ever bring it up again" and went back to work.

Apparently over the years several people have had encounters with this ghost, always in the same hall/room and always seems to be the same sorts of things such as leaving the filing cabinet open etc.

All I know is that I will never work night shifts at Riverview.

(I'm almost positive that it didn't look like this but for my own sake, I like to think this is how all ghosts look)

And on a completely different note, my friend Kadie because she has been calling me at like 8am on Saturdays and showing up at my house as soon as I get home from work etc to work out, so by no choice of my own, I am a member of Bootcamp Kadie. Although I have been loving it because working out with a friend is always more fun, and a lot of the time we just rollerblade so it's not really that intense.

Tonight she came over and we went to the gym for about 90mins and then she went home and not 30mins later she texted me that she was coming back to go for a rollerblade because it was just too pretty outside not too. And this was true, it was a beautiful sunny day out today, perfect for going for a stroll!

It's not quite the same as when I workout with Audrey, my other workout partner who last time we went for a run was wearing a t-shirt that said "YES, I know my dog is limping" and on the back said "He was hit by a car, HE'S FINE!". Sometimes I don't even want to ask with her, like the time she got on the wrong plane or the time she was scammed out of $5000, but this seemed like a story I wanted to know.

Apparently, because her dog had a permanent limp, when she walked him people would literally pull over to the side of the road to actually yell at her for working her dog too hard saying that it was limping because she had ran it too much etc. and this happened so frequently that her roommate felt the need to have this shirt made for her.

Although one would think that maybe this is not an appropriate shirt to be wearing in public when you are not walking the dog.

So after getting home from the concert at about 230am last night, then waking up at 6am and working a full shift nursing, coming home for about 15mins before going to the gym, and then going for a rollerblade, I am exhausted!

Catch Me!

2010-04-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the vacation I was taking in my head and have returned to blog. Your welcome.

On Wednesday I went with Alicia and Carolina to the Vancouver Fashion Week Opening Party which Carolina kindly invited us to and got us tickets! She is a huge fashionista and has a really popular fashion blog all about the events that went on. This was great aside from the fact that trying to choose an outfit for a fashion party with designers and models etc is the most stressful thing ever for a girl who doesn't wear huge name brand clothes. But in the end there was no way I could compete anyways because it was at a gay bar and wow. Not only were the guys dressed better than me but my gosh they had moves!

I've been trying to work a little bit more often (for money rather than my mandatory full time unpaid nursing job/school). I always have stories when I work in the Emergency Room but I always have to remind myself that perhaps I am a little more desensitized to stuff and have to be careful of what I tell other people. But that aside...to give you a taste of an average day for me, I had a patient who was in her 20's and she came to the ER totally cracked out on who knows what but she was pretty out of it. We had to put a catheter (yes i am going there) in and guess who was lucky enough to get that job! So it took 2 nurses to hold her legs open, and while she screamed F YOU and other obscenties at me, as well as trying to kick me, I had to do whatever I could to insert it.

And another patient who stated that he strongly dispised his landlord and wanted to eliminate him from the planet.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine on the baby unit texted me to say that she was currently feeding a premature baby with down syndrome who was the cutest thing ever, falling asleep in her arms.

I think I chose the wrong unit.

On Sunday night, I went to the Passion Pit concert which was so much fun! And to be honest, a lot better than I was expecting! The opening band was brutal, but Passion Pit made up for it! I absolutely love going to concerts, especially ones that not so many people have heard of so the venues are smaller and the tickets are cheap, etc. The crowd was a good mix of people but I was pretty much in Hipster Heaven, I could hardly see through the sea of plaid. It has got me even more excited to see FLORENCE and the machine this week!!!!

PS For the first time this year, I was brave enough to step outside WITHOUT TIGHTS!!!! I felt so revealing! I'm officially ready for summer!!

Is It Really Better To Burn Out Than To Fade Away?

2010-03-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

I had a very emotional day yesturday. It started with a phonecall (as dramatic moments often do) from my dad. He said that he had just walked in the door from work to find a letter from my little brother on the table (little being 18 years old)...

This is what it said:

"I have decided to stop worrying about what everyone wants and expects of me and do what I want to do. I am eighteen years old and I feel that if I don't do this now I will regret it for as long as I live. I have packed everything in my car and I'm heading South. Tonight I will camp somewhere around Portland, Oregon. I have everything I need to get by and I know some people around the USA that will help me out. The only person that knows about this is Karla. So please pass it on to anyone necessary.

I am forever grateful for everything you have done (free of charge!) and I want you to know that I do hope to go back to school in September, even if it's just a few classes. I have my phone which I will use for free WiFi to send email when I can.

Please don't worry, I am prepared for what I need and I've been wanting to do this for a very long time. My insurance expires mid June so I should be back before then, if not a lot sooner. Please be aware I am not mad at anyone, and I hope nobody is mad at me for following my calling.

I love you all so much."

-Calvin

My little brother has always been pretty emotionally isolated and independent, he keeps to himself and therefore I think it's always been hard for him to have to deal with so much going on and never being able to properly talk about it.

My brother and I have a very strong bond and are very much alike in many ways. I think we understand each other better than anyone in our family, and therefore are accepting of each other. We are both laid back and have a relaxed view of life. My parents and sister on the other hand are not this way. They are very strict about the importance of school and work and this is obviously what got to my brother to the point where he needed an escape.

Ever since seeing the movie "into the wild" I have always told my brother that I know that this will be him one day. The boy who wants to break free of social norms and experience life in a different way. Although it always scared me because I would usually say it jokingly (even though I knew deep down it was true), and he reply by saying "i hope so".

He is a smart person and has a ton of outdoor experience (I think he is really only happy when he is off exploring), so I know that he will be fine and I am proud of him for being able to actually make the leap. But as a big sister, of course I will worry about him.

I sent him a text message that night that said

"I was wondering when you were finally going to do it. Just make sure that you make it worth while. Have fun and safe travels, xox"

I really hope that he finds what he is looking for and gets some answers. I think sometimes we all need to find our "spirit guide" as my brother calls it.

Best of Luck Chicken Legs.

I won something!

2010-03-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

So for the last 2 weeks I have been desperately trying to win tickets that a radio station was giving away to Coachella, a huge amazing music festival in California. I came soooooo close so many times and got to know the people answering phones pretty well but in the end I was never the (says in radio station voice) "lucky caller".

In entering for this contest, they gave me the choice to automatically be entered to win all of their contests so of course I said yes as they often give away concert tickets and cd's etc.

The other day I got a phonecall which I didn't pick up because I never pick up phone numbers that I don't recognise because when I see the number I suddenly get anxious and start sweating, wondering who on earth could this unknown caller be?!?

Omg who is it? Who could this be? I don't know this number, how do THEY know MY number? Are they tracking me down? Stalking me? Omg are they outside my house RIGHT NOW?!?

And after pacing back and forth with the phone in my hand, being taunted to pick up or press silence, or do anything to make it stop, it finally goes to the answering machine.

And then I get mad when they don't leave a message, so I turn into a private detective who's mission it is to figure out who called me because it could have been really really important, or I could have just screened a call from God because who else could possibly be calling me from this number?!?

Unfortunately it usually turns out to be a man who doesn't speak english trying to get me to sign up for a credit card.

But I digress, back to the story... so I am one of those people who claims that I never win anything which is probably not true but I never seem to win anything too spectacular anyways.

My eyes lit up when I saw that this unknown number left a voicemail! I immediately checked it and as the lady on the message said *Hi, this is so and so from the Peak radio station calling to let you know that you've won....*

Oh my gosh, I am totally freaking out at this point, sooo excited that I've won tickets to the festival or maybe a million dollars?!?

I can't take the anticipation, my heart races....

and she says...

"...four tickets to the Vancouver Sex Show"

Never has my excitment faded so fast.

I could tell in her voice that even she was laughing in my face at the fact that this is what I've won.

i WOULD win ticekts to a sex show.

I start thinking, do they know?? Did someone tell them?? Okay, I know it's been awhile but what are you trying to tell me PEAK radio station?!?

Needless to say, I will not be attending.
The last thing I need is to go to a place surrounded by sex and people who are having sex, and all things sex related. This sentance alone is more than I can take.

*shakes fist and curses the universe*

Would You Rather?

2010-03-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

Another weekend almost over and what better way to finish it than with working a 12 hour night shift in the emergency room. I'm not sure that I will be able to stay up as I am falling asleep at my computer as I type this. I will have to try and find an empty bed I can nap in :)

Friday night I went to the cutest little french cafe called Cafe Montmartre. It's a unique place covered in vintage prints and hanging bicycles from the ceiling and has a romantic vibe to it. It was bizarre because there aren't that many french speaking people in Vancouver but apparently they ALL go to Cafe Montmartre. You step inside and every single person is speaking french, including the staff. The menu was also very french (I of course had to get a crepe :)). And they had a live duet playing which made for a wonderful atmosphere for some drinks.

Saturday I went over to Alicia's place and as I was walking up the steps it was a little creepy because their entire house was pitch black. I knocked on the door and saw the shadow of Alicia coming to the door. Luckily, they are not vampires but instead good earthlings who were participating in Earth Hour, a one hour break of time where you are not to use any power. It was like a planned power-outage. I came inside to find her roommate and bf sitting at the table with only the glow of their faces from the candle light and a boardgame in the middle. I enthusiastically jumped into the game of *Would You Rather*, a game of twisted predicaments such as WOULD YOU RATHER eat 15 sticks of butter or the rest of micheal jacksons face. It made for some interesting conversations, and I got to know her roommates a little too well.

From there we watched some funny youtube videos and Alicia inroduced me to *kittens inspired by kittens* which if you haven't seen, it's a must. This little girl is hilarious and a little bit mad.

It got close to midnight and I decided to go home, only to have another friend call me on the way and convince me to come meet her at a dance club (actually, it didn't take too much convincing). When I got there, there was still a huge line to get in so I was just going to give up and leave but Audrey was not going to let that happen. She came out and made up some story to the bouncer about how I knew the bartender "jeff" and he was going to be sooooo mad if they didn't let me in and much to my astonishment they believed her and I got walked right in. This jeff character must be special too because apparently knowing him means you don't have to pay cover either.

It was a little overwhelming to be in a club where everyone was far too drunk, but we had fun dancing etc.

Now back to work!

Girls Weekend

2010-03-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

10:00 on Friday morning and my mother calls me from work to say "start packing, I'm coming home from work now and we are going to vancouver island for the weekend with your aunts and grandma".

And one hour later, we were on our way.

I was really curious to see what odds and ends had made it into my mad dash of throwing whatever clothing I could find into my bag. Or perhaps more likely what clothes did NOT make it.

Its only about a 2 hour trip but you have to take a ferry boat across the ocean which is always my favorite part! Even though it was pretty cold and extremelly windy out, I absolutely have to stand outside on the deck and take in the view, hoping to see some killer whales (with no luck). But my anticipation did cause me a rather terrifying nightmare about them. They are just so mischeivious with their big white fake eyes and tiny real beedy eyes. And this only got worse when I told my mother about it and she replies by saying "oh my, you must have heard about that class of children who went to the aquarium and saw a killerwhale swim by the tank with a person in it's mouth" UMM NO, I DIDNT! But thank you for sharing. Apparently it was a trainer and yes, unfortunately he did die. Im officially petrified of killer whales now.

We stayed at the cutest little bed and breakfast type place which is quite remeniscent of the entire island.

It was rather cute to be out with my grandma and her 3 daughters. Whenever I go anywhere with my grandma she loves to spoil me rotten. My mom was rather jealous and said that I am not allowed to come next time because when I'm not there, SHE is the one who gets spoiled. They don't all get away like this very often, so the weekend was full of old memories and subsequently a lot of laughing.

We did lots of shopping, and walking through the city into little markets etc. And ate some delicious food including *the noodle box*. yummmm

And of course you can't go to Victoria without seeing 1. the parliment building and 2. the empress hotel (where the queen stays everytime she visits)

It was a very quick getaway but lovely none the less.

It's Not Made of Spiderwebs and Magic!

2010-03-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

My mom decided that she wanted to fit in and get an iphone which I normally would encourage but knowing that this would mean a lot of time and energy on my behalf, I was more than a little hesitant.

However, she went ahead and got one anyways. I have been doing my best to explain every single tiny detail to her step by step by step but this is an example of how painful it has been (feel free to share in my grief)...

She comes over with a look of frustration and says that the phone is showing a message that says "invalid address" and she is completely perplexed as to why.

Note: she is on a page thats purpose is to set up her email.

She hands me the phone and on the screen is a blank space titled "Address (ex me@home.com)" and below that "Password".

In the space for her email address she had typed out our complete home address. As in our house number, street, and city. I didn't even know what to do other than laugh in disbelief. And of course she did not see any humor in this.

I couldn't help but wonder what on earth she had filled in as the password!

A Heart Story

2010-03-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

I spent today visiting with my Grandma's brother and wife and wanted to share their story with you.

Sam and Shirley.
They are both eighty years old.
Thave been together since they were seventeen.
They are pretty much inseperable.
In November, Sam had a heart attack.
Shirley called 911 and in the Ambulance on the way to the hospital, Shirley had a heart attack.
When Sam became conscious and was told about his wife, He had another heart attack.
The two of them had side by side beds in the hospital.
The staff had never seen anything like it. People from all over the hospital came to see it for themselves (and made sure to tell them that they were not to do any hanky panky in the hospital).
Everyone took pictures and retold their story.
They didn't mind.
They both had amazing recoveries and continue to be in love.

Head in the Clouds

2010-03-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

I had a fairly low key weekend which included seeing a few movies (Dear John which I thought was pretty terrible and Alice in Wonderland which was really good).

I decided to go rollerblading a few days which is one of my favorite things to do on a sunny day, especially because I can go straight from my doorstep to the oceanside and it is a lovely trail. I bring my ipod and dance along as I rollerblade which then makes me laugh because I think about how ridiculous I must look rollerblading and singing to the beat of a song that no one hears but me (and even more so because I am now laughing for seemingly no reason on top of the roller-dancing).

I also think this is a skill overlooked. Trying to change the song on an Ipod and rollerskate to the beat of a song is quite an accomplishment. Not to mention that I swear that kid from Big Daddy was following me because everytime I looked down to change the song there suddenly appeared a large stick infront of me.

I love to people watch so I usually take a break to sit on the bench and make up back stories to people's lives as they strolled by. Surprisinly I can be strangely detailed down to the collection of umbrella's said stranger keeps in her closet.

Today I actually lied (or is it layed...) on the bench and was looking up at the clouds which was one of those total flashback moments to being like 6 years old. I don't think I've actually stared up at the sky and truly watched the clouds roll by since I was a child, it was a weird but wonderful feeling.

On a side note, an old lady yelled at me for not wearing a helmet.

A Lazy Sunday Post

2010-03-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share one of my favorite poems with you...

Lending Out Books
Hal Sirowitz

You're always giving, my therapist said.
You have to learn how to take. Whenever
you meet a woman, the first thing you do
is leand her your books. You think she'll
have to see you again in order to return them.
But what happens is, she doesn't have the time
to read them, & she's afraid if she sees you again
you'll expect her to talk about them, & will
want to lend her even more. So she
cancels the date. You end up losing
a lot of books. You should borrow hers.

Hope your all having a lovely Sunday! I am off to my first wedding shower, hmm what to wear...

Internal Monologue

2010-03-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a lovely time meeting up with Alicia and Stacy, an old friend that I haven’t seen much of since high school. We ended up sitting at the restaurant for hours just catching up and having a lot of laughs over old times. The whole night was so much fun but it started out with me (as always) being excessively early to the restaurant and my friends (as usual) being late. I blame myself because I knew they would be late but I still insist on arriving early.

As I was sitting by myself the bartender yells my name and says hi and I swear that I must have starred at him blankly for a good 7.22 seconds before it clued in to me who he was and said hi back, which was funny because all the guys sitting at the bar totally started laughing at him for saying hi to a girl who clearly had no idea who he was. I felt bad and talked to him after.

So anyways, as I was awkwardly sitting alone in the restaurant with nothing to seem important and less loser like other than my phone, so of course I was going through all the things I could possibly do to look as though it was no big deal, old text messages, sending new ones to people I don’t really want to text with but am just desperate for a text back, etc. so this is a copy of my bbm with Alicia….

-Are you still at dance?
-This is awkward.
-Omg you haven’t even read my message yet which means you haven’t even left yet.
-I’m that person.
-People are starring.
Alicia: haha I’m on my way!
-Oh thank goodness.
-Im in the lounge.
-Wearing a red ribbon in my hair so you know its me.
-Or you could just look for the girl crying alone in the corner.
-Or I could be the one making out with a random in the bathroom.
-OR I could be ALL THREE!
-I’ll just pretend that you texted back so I look like I have friends…
-Stand me up, it will be hilarious.
-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you were driving in from ALASKA!

She thought it was funny, I however, was less than impressed.

Happy 101/10

2010-03-09T22:22:00.000-08:00

It’s a good day to get a happy award because I just so happen to be feeling quite happy today (wow that was a lot of happ in one sentence)!
Thank you to Tish @ Sweet and Sour for giving me this award!

10 things that make me happy are….

(I better stop myself from breaking into song and singing “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…” )

1. painting my toenails outrageous colours
2. high fiving strangers
3. reuniting at an airport
4. sliding across the floor with my socks on
5. walking barefoot in the grass
6. the perfect timing of “that’s what she said”
7. having someone play with my hair
8. unicorns and ninjas (or ninja's ON unicorns.)
9. pulling into a parking spot and turning the car off right at the end of song
10. A guy that’s 5”8-6”2, dark hair, maybe a bit of an untamed curl to it, little bit of a hipster type style, between 24 and 28 years old, has an accent, is a tad geeky but still cool in his own way, has a sense of humor without being over the top obvious funny, not fat but also not obsessed with working out, ambitious but still has time for me, and lastly (and I think quite obviously) someone who knows how to kill a velociraptor but would only ever do it in a life or dealth situation. Know anyone...?

Now to pass on the love,
Tom @ TbR-tangential
Alicia @ Back on the Block
Melissa @ Miss Melissa
Danielle @ Smelly Danielly
Tash @ Following My Free Spirit

Chatroulette stole my innocence

2010-03-08T16:04:00.000-08:00

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am a bit of a geek, especially when it comes to computer stuff. It was only a matter of time before I succumbed to blogging. So yes, I watch youtube videos and even have subscriptions to my favorites (I won't get in to my overwhelming infatuation with Philip Defranco), I go to geeky websites like xkcd (which you can't tell me is not hilarious!) and do whatever else it is that I would never admit to people in real life.

XKCD

So anyways, doing my usual geeky computer stuff I came across a little thing called chatroulette.
yes. chatroulette.

For those of you who have heard of this site, I can feel your agony and sorrow for knowing what I have witnessed and the so many things I have seen that can never be erased.

So basically this is a chatroom type site where you can webcam with people all over the world, one at a time. So you go on and immediately you are in a webcam convo with some stranger in japan or something. If you don't like the person or they don't like you, you click next and within seconds you will be on with the next stranger.

The problem with this site (if you really can't already see many), is that pretty much every second click of the *next* button is a 40+ year old naked man masterbating and asking to see your boobs. Most of them are pretty obvious and you can next them immediately (or not, if thats your thing...), but some are more clever, I had one guy actually sneak masterbate to my face without me even knowing! So if you ever try this site out I suggest you go with a 'hands where i can see them at all times' policy.

However, if you can get past this, you can actually have a pretty good laugh at some of the people on this thing. During my short time on the site I chatted with a person in a clown mask, a naked women doing a handstand, a guy in a cat suit, cartoon characters sticking their tongues out at me, a guy who danced the stanky leg for me and some hilarious posters. Not to mention people from all over the world. And of course being a girl, people love to talk to you because you are one of about 10 in a chatroom of over 20 000. I talked to one girl who let me in on her secret that when she see's a naked guy she pretends to cry and see's how long it takes them to next her.

Most of the people go on just to make fun of other people, so you have to join in and reciprocate. Not that I am suggesting you try the site out because I do not want to be blamed for the loss of souls.

My name is Brandi and I am ashamed to say that I chatrouletted.

Oh Happy Day

2010-03-03T13:33:00.000-08:00

Things are definitely looking up! Not only am I on the mend but I was given the beautiful blogger award from Cassie at starting from nothing and learning as I go. What a lovely gesture!

So this means that I need to list 7 random facts about myself...I'll give it a try!

1. I can't whistle. I've tried and I've tried but I just can't do it. I'm not giving up trying just yet though! One day it will happen

2. I only wear bras and underwear that match. I know this is silly (especially because trust me, no one is seeing them) but it makes me feel more put together. And while we are on fashion, I also refuse to wear brown and black together.

3. I have NEVER dyed my hair! And I have no reason as to why not, I've actually always wanted to it's just that I have dark brown hair, freckles and green eyes so I could never see any colour looking that good on me.

4. I LOVE candy! Especially those 5 cent candies you get at the corner store. The sugary-er the better! yummmmmm

5. I hate my knees (or lack there of). I long for knees that have character and definition. This is a weird thing to long for, I realize but if you had such stubby knees as I do you would understand.

6. I am extremelly painfully indecisive. I can not make a decision if my life depended on it. My friends and family have just come to accept that if I am with them they will have to chose where we go to eat and what we do for the day, and any other decision that will come up while we are together. Most of the time it's just that I am easy going and don't have a preference, but even when I do, I still can't decide.

7. I dont swear and I dont drink beer. My mom always raised me to be lady-like so I guess thats where it comes from (and also the fact that I can't stand the taste of beer). And the no swearing is actually kind of embarassing sometimes because I literally can't do it even if I wanted to. I am the 23 year old girl who still spells out the letters of the word when repeating what someone else said.

And I am so excited to be able to pass this award on to some other beautiful bloggers!

Sam @ Simply Sam
Violet @ Lovely Violet
Becky @ I'll go eat worms
Tim @ Deconstruction of Nothing
Emily @ One More Thing
Susie Q @ Out of the Ordinary

Since joining this blog and especially since joining 20sb I have felt so welcomed! I am loving it and everyone in the blogging community! And since meeting all you wonderful people I really want to join in on this trip to Vegas. "Bloggers in Sin City". It sounds like so much fun, I still need to look into it a bit more but if things work out I think it will be a blast to party in vegas with a bunch of 20 something bloggers! Anyone planning on going??

Just Because

2010-03-02T21:29:00.000-08:00

So I had said that the best part about being sick was that it gave me more time to blog but what I didn't exactly think about was that being sick means I have literally done nothing to blog about. In fact I actually haven't left my house (aka couch/bed) in days.

My biggest accomplishment over the last few days has literally been having a shower and that alone took more willpower and motivation than you could imagine. However it was much needed.

I'm up to date on reading/stalking everyone else's blogs, online shopping, reading, watching you tube videos and spying on the neighbours through my window (old school stalking).

I'm going to make it my mission to leave the house tomorrow. I think my pale body needs to see light and breathe fresh air again. I've become so much more of a geek, i didn't think it was possible.

And as if this wasn't bad enough, I even had to turn down a date tonight! He offered to come over and bring me soup but i'm not one of those cute sick people you see on tv. I am pretty much the most unattractive diseased person ever, my unattractivness even spreads over the phone.

I feel like the biggest outsider on facebook, I don't know who this Jake character is but apparently he is an idiot...?

Having said all that, things are starting to look up! And I hope to have more exciting updates soon!

Grow Up and Blow Away

2010-02-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to have some new readers to my blog. I just started into this whole blogging world and so far am loving the whole community! I figured I'd better introduce a huge part of my life which is that I am a nursing student.

I will be graduating with my RN in December which will be a long time coming (4.5 years). It is a wonderful feeling to have known my whole life that I want to be a nurse, and then to have that confirmed when actually practicing as a nurse. It has it's ups and downs but overall I wouldn't replace any of it.

I bring this up because with graduation creeping up faster and faster all the time I am starting to really try and make decisions on what I am going to do once that point comes. I've been in an extremelly structured program for so long that it's going to be weird to be on my own with all the options that there are for nurses.

It has always been my dream to work for Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) but after much extensive research I've discovered that it's not quite as easy as just applying and getting hired. Apparently they have a never ending list of requirements (of which I have almost none) so the chances of me getting in is pretty small, atleast for a couple of years.

So again I am left with the question what to do or rather, where to go.

I know that I want to travel as a nurse (hens the doctors without borders) but where to go! There are so many options and I want all of them! I am leaning towards Dubai right now mostly because they are in desperate need of nurses, its a beautiful place and they pay a substantial amount of tax free money. I think it would be an amazing experience and would definitely help me out with my resume. Eventually I will get to Africa as well but all in time.

I can't imagine anything better than being paid to do what I love and to travel at the same time (and i guess there's the part about helping others and saving lives and yadda yadda..;) )!

As stressful as it is at times, it is really refreshing and uplifting to know that I can pretty much choose anything I want and go anywhere my heart desires. At this point in my life I have nothing tying me down and I don't plan on that lasting for too many more years (although who knows at the rate i'm going...) so I would really like to take advantage of my semi-youthfullness and independence while I still can!

This is my way of escaping full reality and structure, but I still have a bunch more time left of that yet!
It is kinda scary to think about having an actual career and being like a real grown up...*shudder*

PS: My nursing class is having a graduation fundraiser in March so if your in or around Vancouver and want to support us let me know!

My body is an epic fail

2010-02-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

Out of no where last night I started getting a sore throat and 5 hours later I now feel like death. I guess the staying out going hard every night and lack of sleep has caught up with me, damn I really thought I was going to be invincible with this one!

It literally feels like knives going down my throat everytime I swallow, oh joy.

But on the plus side, being sick gives me plenty of time to blog (and even more time to creep on other people blogs) which is always fun! And since I really haven't been doing anything productive with my life lately anyways, I now atleast have the excuse of being sick as well as the added bonus of being pitied.

I think I will spend this friday night with pj's, blankets, my sofa and a good movie, but what one....

A Date in the Life of Me

2010-02-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

I am always hesitant to go on first dates. I don’t really have a reason as to why, I just don’t like them. So far I’ve never even had a bad one, and I always have a lot of fun but it’s the hours leading up to it and actually getting myself out the door but I still try to always force myself to go.

I agreed to a date the last night with a guy I had met while wandering downtown the other day. He was cute but came off as very aggressive and did not waste any time getting my number. But worse than that he wanted to give me his number instead which is just not going to happen with me. I don’t know why I have this thing against calling guys for a date; I am very old fashioned that way.

So we had plans to meet on Granville street after the hockey game so as much as I wasn’t feeling it I got myself ready, drove downtown and walked around. As I was pacing the street, I saw a girl giving away free stuff so obviously I jumped to the front of the line and got my greedy hands in there—only to find out that I was now holding a bag of condoms and a book about being safe which says not “don’t do drugs” but instead, “don’t do drugs alone”. Perfect!

So since I hadn’t heard from him yet (and the game had been over for about 30mins at this point) I texted him to see what was up. He said that he was at the Penthouse on Richards street and asked me to meet him there.

To anyone outside of Vancouver this might not make sense, but here in Vancouver the “penthouse” means a stripclub (or atleast to the type of people I hang out with which are not loaded penthouse staying type people).
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So immediately I am infuriated that this guy would even suggest meeting at a such a place! I was so disgusted and turned right off! The nerve of him! I texted him back saying that I wasn’t going to meet him there. He kept texting me and calling but I just messaged him saying that I was with friends and we were just going to stay on Granville and go for drinks or something. He was very disappointed.

As I was telling a friend the story he informed me that the penthouse stripclub is on Seymour street, not Richards and when he googled the actual address the guy gave me it was of one of the nicest hotels in Vancouver.
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So yah, this is pretty much a typical date of mine.

However, I wouldn’t have gone anyways, I don’t think that inviting a girl to your “penthouse” is any kind of first date! And the least he could have done was come out to meet me first and not leave me waiting for however long. Or at least that’s what I will tell myself to feel better about missing out on a lavish hotel, free drinks, and possibly a lot of fun….

He’s invited me out again on Wednesday, I’m not sure what I will say yet.